DISPELLING COMMON MYTHS ABOUT WHAT HEALING SHOULD LOOK LIKE
By CC Treadway
I am always struck in my own process, how is it possible to still be challenged by an issue I thought I had cleared years ago? I notice the same pattern in my friends, colleagues and clients. Why does this continually mystify us? What are some of the misconceptions about the healing process that continually leave us bewildered by life?
There are many misconceptions about healing.
The biggest one is that there is a destination get to, and that destination, which should hopefully only take one or a few sessions to get to, is the perfect life experience of which we always dreamed, or perhaps being the perfect person, totally happy and fulfilled. The reality is that healing is a maturation process involving other dimensions with no guaranteed results. If there were a goal, it might be acceptance of the way things are, detachment from the way things should be, and a continuous connection to Source. However, in the human experience and I believe the experience of an ever evolving universe, with your perspective constantly shifting, the ability to accept and detach and connect is constantly challenged with the soul’s desire to experience and create more variations of life. The perfect life we had dreamed of that we might have even achieved is usually based on a set of desires, gifts and woundings that will take on a different form once the new vantage point is reached.
What do you mean woundings??
Your wound is your gift. This is the concept and experience that was taught to me at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing (BBSH), although I did not really understand it until after I graduated. First of all, the whole concept of “the wound” was elusive. What were they talking about? My first experience that I may have “the wound” occurred sometime at the end of first year where we had to bring in a picture of ourselves as a child. I remember looking at that picture of the child and I began to cry uncontrollably (this is a typical experience at BBSH). I couldn’t explain it. I just missed that child so much.
How is the perceived abandonment and separation from Source/God/Creator reflected in your personal life experience, and how does that inspire and fuel you to develop and bring forth your unique gift into the world, ultimately reuniting you with Source energy?
What makes you ask, “Why God, WHYYYYY!!” And then what makes you do something about it?
For example, if during a few years of your childhood, you lived in a country at war and experienced bombings on a regular basis, you know that much of the reason you may desire to live in a peaceful and calm environment is due to this early life experience. As you heal that wound, your desires for how you want to live will shift. After some time of rest, you may decide you are bored and want to make a bigger difference. Fueled by your life experience, you forge a career in assisting children during times of war. This would be a life choice directly based on your wound. Your gift that was received as a result of this wound will flourish and be bravely brought into the world.
Learning how to face and deal with your pain is one of the most important lessons of the healing process, perhaps life itself.
I recently had the pleasure of holding and spending time with a newborn baby. This baby is a lucky kid, because he has two of the best parents an infant could have. His mother is my oldest friend, whom I have known for almost 30 years. When we first met we were just a little bigger than her son is now! This friend of mine is very special, she was born in a state of unconditional love and stayed there. No therapy or healing, I swear. She has been a big teacher for me as I have sought so desperately the quality she seems to possess without effort.
I think somewhere in the back of my psyche, I had the belief that if the parents did everything right; the baby would never feel any pain. (Yes, it’s obvious I haven’t had a child yet!) What I witnessed with my friend’s baby, however, was that it went from peaceful to crying in an instant, and I could see that the parents were doing everything right, it was totally unavoidable that this baby would feel pain. When the baby cried, the parents scrambled to find what it needed, which was either holding, feeding or diaper changing. When they found what the baby needed, the baby was peaceful once again. I was literally watching the life process unfold before my eyes. What a teaching. It dawned on me, “Oh, we’re supposed to get upset, phew!” It’s never perfect in the way that we imagine. We go from peaceful, to anxious and upset, to figuring out what we need, to peaceful and happy once again.
I think we all spend a lot of energy trying not to get upset, but if our tears are used properly it’s a one-way ticket to figuring out what our needs are.
The idea that we have to heal so that we can never feel pain again is an illusion, perhaps the biggest illusion of all.
I truly believe that healing involves being able to accept the life process, pain and all and have the courage to feel it and make good choices to meet our needs. This is what my teacher, Barbara Brennan and her staff, taught so exquisitely.
Another misconception is that once you heal an issue, and I’m talking a core wounding issue, not a physical injury or disease, that it never is a problem again. I’m sure there are exceptions but I have not yet seen one. Even those that claim instant healing, walk in souls, reincarnating in your own body, etc., still have a core wounding. They may be out of the wheelchair or cancer free, but they are still human. As you go around the spiral of life, you will be hit with that core issue again and again, each time deepening your understanding of yourself, how you operate and how that wound is the ticket to your greatest gift in the world. The core wound based issues are directly linked to your individuated divine spark. That is the uniqueness of who you are. Does that mean you will be plagued by painful memories of sexual abuse for the rest of your life? Absolutely not, but it could mean that you have to work with understanding and creating healthy boundaries for a long time.
Lets say, 20 years into your journey you decide to start a new business. As you hit the point of the spiral of life where that wounding activates, you may find that you are unable to create healthy boundaries about money. You know that boundaries and self worth are core issues related to the sexual abuse, so with that awareness, you take your healing process into a deeper understanding of boundaries. You strengthen your self-respect; get in touch with your true needs, which allows you to feel the sweet core of who you are. You have grown and matured and this allows you to expand your business farther than you ever thought possible. You have transmuted the issue, but the sweet core of who you are, mixed with your desire to bring forth your gift to world is Divine Reconnection. And it will bring tears.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.