Dear Spiritual Community,
Soooooo, here we are in the new Baktun. It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is shining and I just finished eating breakfast and paying my bills. Yes my friends, I don’t know if you got the memo, but Money didn’t disappear into the ethers on the solstice. Credit cards, banks, currency and the stock market are still doing their dance.
But don’t be sad, because it’s time to take it to the next level. Everyone found out that Money isn’t based on gold a few years ago, so the jig is up! They are printing Money like newspapers and yet inflation is not rising…because who cares right? It’s not based on anything material, so it’s a free for all! This is what the “money people” have known for years.
Whether we like it or not, all of us are still in relationship with Money. And in the year of the water snake, it’s ON.
That’s right spiritual people with big hearts, it’s time for you to be rich. So say goodbye to every negative story you have about Money, because your time has come.
The spiritual community is well known for its disdain of the material, and doomsday predictions, but from everything I am seeing and hearing, in the year of the snake, we are gonna rock it financially.
But there’s only one way that can happen. We need to make Money the most loving experience of our lives. We need to stop telling every negative story and just go ahead and fall in love with Money.
Eeeeeeeww, I hear you saying, but yes, Money needs our love. Money is tired of doing bad things, it told me.
We have a real opportunity to bring the vibration of Money into love. Think of the possibilities. If the consciousness of Money were based in love, the ENTIRE WORLD would transform. Money would be a force of peace and balance. Behind our backs it would thinking of all the ways it could be loving and adoring of us, it would bend over backwards for our benefit, because that’s what love does. It can’t help itself!
If you want an irrigation system for your perma-perfect backyard or extra cash flow to help empower those in true poverty, then a love drunk Money is just what you need.
I can say that one miracle after another has happened this year with my beloved Money, and that came after a lot of praying, questioning, clearing, working and learning. I went deep to the core of the earth, the heart of the sky and the depth of my being. And then I fell in love, and we (Money and I) started this delicious love affair…but there’s more.
I’ve been in this scene long enough to know that true devotees will not touch anything that is not love. An open hearted awake person will leave money in the dust, will chastise it, throw it away and punish it if it doesn’t feel good. But the spiritual community has too many great visions, ideas and love for the world for them not to flourish. It drives me crazy that all that heart and creativity gets stopped short due to lack of funds. That just won’t do in the new world.
With money on our sides, there’s nothing we can’t do.
So, it’s time to love money until it becomes a passionate relationship, one you are proud of, and one you hold sacred. You may have to face deep darkness to open to this relationship, or just simply throw in the towel and give into Love.
My friends, there are laws to wealth and love, do you want to play a bigger game? Do you want your heart and money to be as One, in Love, and in community for a better world?
I do. For so many reasons, I really, really do.
Here’s a small exercise. Take this moment to feel deep gratitude for money, feel into the heart of life and how it wants to give to you, and let money go right into that feeling. Shake off any negative feelings or reactions and re-commit to loving. Believe that you are ready and deserve it all.
CC and Money
(c) CC Treadway 2013. All rights reserved.
By CC Treadway
As we collectively enter into the feminine, I am struck by my own experience that has led me to understand, and understand deeply, what this means.
Recently, after arguably one of the hottest weeks in NYC, I drove up to the Catskills to stay with an old friend and her family. I had not seen this friend in almost twenty years, but she and her family are more significant in my life than I could possibly convey in words. This family, the Wilkinsons, made me a part of their family when my own family life had fallen apart.
I met Heather when I was 12 at an Episcopal church inter-county sleepover. I recognized her as a fellow gymnast immediately by the way she walked, so of course we had to be friends.
In those early years, I would go over to the Wilkinson’s house in Pelham, New York, and be greeted by two enormous dogs, a cat, her brother, and her parents, who would promptly put me to work. This work included walking the dogs, taking out the garbage, walking to the grocery store in the dead of winter, setting the table, etc.
The Wilkinsons lived in a grand old Victorian, 4 stories high with 8 bedrooms. The house was heated only by woodstoves. Heather’s father, John, preferred woodstove heat, and was uncompromising in this preference, no matter how cold it was. Hats and gloves were frequently worn if necessary. John, a hotshot lawyer in NYC, had a lot of hobbies: fly fishing, camping, skiing, really anything that had to do with nature. He and his wife Mia, a pro-gardener and teacher, held fast to old values that were all but disappearing. Pre-boomers from New England don’t mess around. Their work ethic and consistency is a force to be reckoned with. I got it, I loved it, and I paid close attention.
To me, each time I entered the Wilkinson’s house was like going to paradise. My own house, just a few towns away, was going through a lot at that time. My parents did not get along and were beginning what would become the longest divorce process known to man. At the Wilkinson’s I was part of a functioning team that had a purpose. I gladly participated.
I’m imagining they understood exactly the role they played for me. I was Heather’s favorite friend, and so I was informally adopted. My parents, always up for an adventure, were thrilled that I was being treated so well and shown so many new things.
The Wilkinsons took me on all their family vacations. We went horse back riding in Jackson, Wyoming, camping and fishing in upstate New York, swimming in Delray Beach, FL, and skiing in Okemo,VT. Every year they took me to their college reunions in Williamstown, MA, and they even took me along to visit with their best friends in New Hampshire. As a family, we would watch the Olympics together, getting into every nuance of the gymnasts, dissecting the ice skaters, and passionately cheering on the skiers. They brought me along everywhere as one of their daughters, and delighted in my personality and my quirks. No one ever yelled at each other and “flaws” were seen as something to chuckle about.
Eventually they bought a second home in the Catskills with even more woodstoves, skiing, dogs and sitting around the fire with drinks, all getting along. I went up there as often as possible.
THE FANTASY FAMILY IMAGE
Throughout these 6 years from age 12 until I graduated from High School at 18, I was shown a way of life that held and supported me through tough times. My parents finally divorced when I was 18, and in my head, the Wilkinsons were the model I used for the family life I was determined to have as an adult. I thought that I had kept my admiration for them to myself, but in this most recent trip to the Catskills, Heather told me I wrote, “Because of you and your family, I now know what family actually is,” in her senior yearbook.
After high school, Heather went to Williams college and I went to the Rhode Island School of Design. Heather became a doctor. I became a filmmaker, dancer and healer of sorts who dated the wrong guys. Heather got proposal after proposal from stable men. We fell out of touch.
I remember feeling in my 20’s like I just wasn’t good enough to hang out with the Wilkinsons anymore. I didn’t want to bring my darkness into their light. I felt ashamed that I was so all over the place, that once again the last guy I dated blew me off after he slept with me, that the guy I was seeing now had 2 other girlfriends, and I had 3 other boyfriends outside of him just to be safe. I truly didn’t feel I deserved any better, and I couldn’t bear to feel my own deeper needs.
All the while the myth of my ideal family life I was going to have remained strong in my head. I could see the house in the Catskills, the garden, and the functioning family unit as we did lots of outdoorsy activities.
As I danced, worked at MTV, went to healing school, dated countless men and moved countless times, I knew that someday I would have that stable life. I held onto it like the rock of Gibraltar. My feelings of shame and sadness around my inner broken home were still so strong. So, the contrast between how I actually felt and my fantasy family image was a tough gap to bridge. All the while I was dreaming up this perfect movie, I developed myself as a person, dedicating myself to my spiritual path. I became a successful video editor and later a self-employed healer. I began helping a lot of people, writing music, and traveling. I was an adventurer, and I worked hard.
But at the end of the day, I dismissed all these things as unimportant. They were only what I was doing to heal myself until I moved to upstate New York to become a Wilkinson. I could not let go of that image, or there would be nothing to hold onto, I would just be floating in emptiness.
THE IMAGE BEGINS TO CRUMBLE
In 2010, after a broken engagement to a real woodsman in Arizona, where we had a garden, a big dog and national forest as our backyard, my image began to crumble. This was very scary. After trying for two years to create my image, I left Arizona, defeated, and moved back to New York. I faced my biggest fear, because I felt there was nothing holding me to anything. The program had failed. For awhile I sat in nothingness, floating with no purpose. It was tough, but also liberating. For the first time I had no real agenda for anything, so I just let the Divine take care of me. I worked on my music and my healing practice and just took it one day at a time.
Naturally, when I let go of the image and the control, the life I was supposed to have come rushing towards me. Literally hundreds of artists, musicians and healers entered my life without effort. I formed deep friendships. I just went with it and began to have more fun than I could ever have imagined. My relationship with my parents also began to heal naturally, at a level I never expected.
But then after several months of singing, dancing and making art with the best people in the world, the winter wind began to blow, and the image of the woodstove came back with a vengeance. It was time to move upstate and do it for real. I was determined and began the motions of finally claiming the life I had been dreaming of all these years.
In January of 2012, I was in Woodstock, NY, looking at the perfect cabin with one of my best friends. I thought that my husband would walk through the door at any second. But then it began to feel kinda weird, like I was in the hologram deck on The Enterprise - set to Norman Rockwell. It wasn’t real, and it wasn’t me. The image began to dissolve and I started to freak out. I didn’t know what was going on, but I had to get out of there and get back home to Brooklyn with my community immediately. My friend intuitively knew what was happening to me, and we drove out of Woodstock like bats out of hell.
Since then, the remnants of this safety net have been continually dissolving as the real CC has been emerging. It’s been a little disorienting, but claiming myself as a musician, a mystic, an adventurer, and an artist has made me the happiest I have ever been. Letting go of the identity as someone who is just healing herself so she can have her family and farmhouse in the woods, to come into a fully embodied, musical goddess is way better than the fantasy, because it’s who I am naturally.
How grateful I am to have not only had the beauty that the Wilkinsons offered me as a teenager, but to have had that image keep me together while I healed, and while I traversed my human journey. Somehow, here in 2012, the slate was wiped clean, and I became strong enough to let the safety net go.
I would write in Heather’s yearbook now, “Because of you and your family, it was safe for me to find my true self.”
THE CATSKILLS, 2012
Of course, while all of this was happening, I got a touching email from Heather Wilkinson herself. After 20 years, I found myself driving up to the Catskills to come full circle.
When I arrived at the Wilkinsons in July of 2012, the solid rock I clung to was very much in tact. The garden I helped build as a teenager was thriving, the dogs were running and playing and the quilts on the beds just as charming. After 50 years John and Mia are still best friends with their nightly cocktails, long conversations and mutual passion for nature.
They welcomed me back with open arms, inviting me to come to the house any time I wanted, with or without them. I felt their warmth and generosity like an old friend, and I was overwhelmed with their love and trust in me after all these years.
Heather and I had a lot to talk about. It was so good to see her and reconnect. It became obvious that her journey was more like mine than I had believed. She has moved countless times as an ER doctor, been in several relationships (she never married anyone who proposed), and in 2009 we both suffered a life altering back injury that took us out of type A mode to begin the journey of the integrated woman. She ended up taking 3 years off and is now emerging as an acupuncturist. In my back-injured bedridden days in Arizona, I learned to let life take care of me, to let the earth speak to me, and to trust I was provided for at all times.
THE BIG PICTURE
I am witnessing so many of my 30 something female friends going through a profound change. We just don’t have the testosterone to be type A workaholics. Somehow in our post feminist reality, we took on the idea that we should be able to pull this off. It is a pressure cooker. It seems the overworked-woman’s-nervous-breakdown is par for the course.
What I like, and what I see us doing, is reclaiming the feminine in this deep, sultry, spacious way. Sinking deeply inside and feeling the universe in our hearts and our wombs is opening doorways to our passions without burning out. We are so beyond the subservient wife, but we are also beyond the overworked, constantly in charge career woman. The new, integrated woman is rising just in time for December 21, 2012.
I think many of us reach for an ideal that was imprinted on us somehow. But most of the time, that image isn’t realistic, it is simply a tool to help us find who we actually are.
After almost 2 decades of art, healing and music, I have found a way to combine all of my passions and work part time, making more than enough money. I cannot overwork myself and expect any magic to happen. My delicious female friends are all going through this journey, some are also balancing children and husbands. Even though Heather and I come from very different family situations, she is also on this path.
We women need our time, our quiet and safe space for the magic to arise, so we can receive the gifts of the universe, and so we can hold a loving space for the world.
As the triple goddess we have our ferociousness, and we have so much strength and endurance, but the magic comes in the softness. I desire a world where it is safe to be as soft as we are, as fluid as the waters we are born in, and as deep as our hearts can go.
HEALING THE ABANDONMENT ABYSS, Part 2
By CC Treadway
If you would like to read Part 1 of this series please click here:
In the last article I went into the importance of dealing with the pain of abandonment. In this article I will go into more detail with the chakra system of the healing process.
The most important thing about healing abandonment is that you have to admit you have a problem. Many people are defending against this pain so much that they cannot even get to it. But if you continually feel empty, like you need to fill a void with something, you have an abandonment wound. An abandonment wound can lead you to substance abuse, to emotional detachment, inability to commit in relationship or over-dependence on another to give meaning to your own life. Its actually easier to heal a wound that manifests as dependence, than avoidance, because at least an emotionally codependent person is in touch with their feelings, admitting they have needs. The avoider will deny they have any needs, and will simply bypass the emotional body by filling the space immediately. They reject people, but at the same time have a very difficult time letting anyone out of their life completely. It’s torturous on the person semi-rejected. It is also possible to swing back and forth between these two types.
Dean Ramsden (deanramsden.com), founder of Relational Energy Healing, has taught me a lot about this wounding and how it is reflected in the energy field. To paraphrase him:
During the formation of the second chakra, the child is supposed to be modeled its own self. When a parent abandons, or does not nurture and reflect the child’s individuality, the child makes the decision to release its energy from its body and merge with the parent, beginning a life long pattern of meeting the parent’s needs to feel itself. It therefore merges its identity with the parent.
Hence, codependence. If this pattern continues through life then the codependent will look at itself or its partner as a parent, and not be able to feel its own self unless it is merged in the relationship. Loss of the relationship can be devastating, and recovering the sense of self may take a lot of time and patience. Whereas a healthy person will recover from the breakup in the normal phases, a person who has suffered this wounding may never recover, but carry that pain with them through their life, never daring to enter into another relationship, or continually entering relationships that do not satisfy or nurture, but rewound. They may also hang on to the memory of the last relationship in an effort to avoid the total loss of self.
Many people just do not want to admit they do this, and would rather stay in blame. You know the type, the one that constantly talks about the horrible things their ex did to them, and how they were the victim. They also may never leave the relationship and just complain about it for the rest of their lives. While its normal to learn from relationships and blame can come into the picture, it should be a phase that ends, giving way to self-responsibility and healing.
What I find in the spiritual communities, is that in order to avoid dealing with this, we “spiritualize” the relationship. “He’s a soulmate!” “A psychic told me we would be together forever, so I have to stay with him.” “I need to finish my karma with her.” All of these things may be true, but healing it will require addressing some basic psychological and emotional stuff, as well as some mastery in the energy realm.
A codependent, or anyone who feels the pain of abandonment, is ready to heal when they get tired of blame, sink into the misery of the pain, and ask for help. I do believe the 12 step programs are very good and often recommend clients go there. But I also believe there are things that a trained energy healer can do to speed up the process of healing, provided the client is ready and willing.
USING CHAKRA SYSTEM IN HEALING PROCESS
While it is necessary to work with all the chakras in any healing process, I will go specifically into chakras two and three.
Redevelopment of Second Chakra: “I Recognize Myself”
While all the chakras will be addressed in any healing process, the second chakra is usually the main player at first. This chakra never learned how to experience its own self and have it be reflected in the world. That sucks!!!
This is what I do with my clients, although I want to give Dean Ramsden and another great healer, Joy Adler (joyadler.com), the credit they deserve for teaching me most of it. And back to their teachers, Barbara Brennan, Rosalyn Bruyere and on and on. I call it energy modeling. I sit with my client and ask them to feel their own self. I assist them by helping them find a time in their life, or a place where they felt totally safe to be themselves. 100% of the time these clients choose a time where they are alone. That’s because truthfully, they have never experienced their true self in the company of another. I ask them to recognize how this feels in their body. When they are feeling all warm and fuzzy, I remind them of my presence. Almost immediately their field shifts into their habitual pattern: their energy leaves their own body and comes towards me. But I do something different than what they are used to. I put up an energy boundary and do not take in their energy and merge. For some clients this can be very scary. It feels like rejection. But what they see over time is that I am not rejecting, I am actually staying in loving witness mode for their essence. I coach them to bring their energy back into their system and take in the reflection I am offering without trying to take my energy.
Almost always this is a huge awakening. It was for me the first time it was done for me. The difference is, instead of the excitement and rush of merging with another or the child trying through its habitual way to get love it always wanted from the parent, the feeling is just getting to be yourself. Now for some people this is a huge adjustment of thought, “What fun is that? How will I know if I like them if I do not feel a huge intense bolt of lightening?” Dean once asked me, “Are you confusing intensity with love?” Perhaps...
For a healthy, long lasting relationship, getting to be yourself is the most important element. The love that grows from this healthy foundation is solid, lasting and exiting in a whole new way.
Redevelopment of Third Chakra: “I Respect Myself”
The third chakra has a lot to do with willpower. If you do not have a healthy sense of self, and self respect, then your third chakra will probably need a lot of work. The front aspect of the third chakra can be about your self-respect and how you give to others. The back is about your self-care, how you give to yourself. Some people have very large third chakras in the front, and teeny weeny ones in the back. This is usually because they are caretaking others…to avoid facing abandonment. They easily allow others to hook into their energy and become drained when they give. This can be a conundrum because giving in itself feels good, but when it is done from a place of caretaking, it is draining to the field. Then the caretaker will inevitably need to recharge either with solitude or by draining someone else’s field.
It is very difficult for people with distorted third chakras to say no. Learning good boundaries is essential for recovery. Reconstructing the third chakra and teaching someone how to give and receive from Source is a huge part of the healing process. For someone with addiction problems, healing third chakra issues is essential for developing healthy self-esteem and willpower. I have witnessed addicts literally lose all sense of self and willpower when they are around others who are involved in addictive behaviors. Their third chakras get large, lose their form and they get totally caught up in the group field of “the addict,” no longer able to experience their own self or thoughts. Like a robot they end up using again. The 12 step programs insist that recovering addicts surround themselves with healthy environments and there is deep wisdom in that. It takes doing that over and over to retrain the emotional and energetic bodies to respond to people and environments that are truly beneficial.
Briefly, here is some of the work that gets done with the other chakras:
First chakra: “I have enough.” Deeply connecting with Mother Earth, healing root cords to birth parents. Feeling safe, supported and taken care of on Earth.
Fourth chakra: “I am filled.” Feeling safe to really love, feeling safe enough to feel heartbreak and childhood wounds. Experiencing Divine Love in relationships.
Fifth chakra: “I trust.” Learning to receive, trust Divine, and dropping control in relationships and life.
Sixth chakra: “I see the truth.” Replacing projected thoughts with truth. Seeing through the veil of truth as opposed to childhood wounds. Creating from that truth.
Seventh chakra: “I am the Divine.” Grounding Divine energies into body. Being strong enough to face real pain of Divine separation and not “spiritual bypass.” Learning true Divine Connection as a human.
APPLYING THESE CONCEPTS TO BIGGER PICTURE
Right now humanity is being deeply tested as it goes through major transition and a worldwide economic collapse. I thank Creator every day for the lessons that people, including myself, are learning, difficult as they are. We are a people dependent upon relationship systems that are no longer functioning. On a grand scale, our dependence on the “system” is just a big codependent relationship. And we have all said, on some level, “Enough! I want my power! I want real love, I want my life to be based on truth!” It does say on the dollar bill, “In God We Trust.” That is where we are headed. And it’s a wonderful process.
Breaking our dependency on the “system” is like breaking our dependency on anything that doesn’t serve us: Exciting, terrifying, uncertain, destabilizing, hopeful. It’s a major breakup, and for some a major heartbreak. It is not easy. It certainly hasn’t been easy for me. You don’t have to lose all your money to feel what is happening, because it’s not about money, it’s about healing a massive, unhealthy codependency and coming into deep love and trust. It will require a leap of faith into the abandonment abyss to inevitably be caught in the arms of the Divine.
Despite all the conspiracy theories out there, and the massive Earth changes that could occur, I believe what comes next is a better system. We are coming together as a planet to create a system that works for Earth and for us… and I am on board.
(c) CC Treadway 2011. All rights reserved. You may repost this article in its entirety with a link back to this site. Please let me know if you repost!
DON’T MESS WITH ME, I LOVE YOU
Transforming Victimhood into Empowerment
By CC Treadway
I often get requests from people who want me to extract their demons for them. I reply to them and let them know that I will ask them to commit to a series of sessions to help transform inner beliefs that are perpetuating the attachments/attacks. Nine times out of ten I never hear back from them.
I have colleagues I can refer them to should they just want good old fashioned shamanic relief, but long term results require a dedication and commitment on the part of the client that many are not willing to do. I do not consider myself a sweeper, I help people grow into their power through self responsibility, healing and education.
As I planned my curriculum for a new summer tele-course, Psychic Empowerment, I remembered this very significant story in my life when I stepped out of the victim paradigm into the super strong love paradigm and watched the world around me change.
HEALERS + CEREMONY = DRAMA
During my 4th year at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing I was asked to take on a leadership role for our final class ceremony. These ceremonies were no small thing. It was really the time for people to showcase their deep, unrealized longings to be seen and applauded. So if you had a dream to sing or dance in front of everyone, this was your time to shine. Of course, this made the whole process very delicate, as these unrealized dreams we have usually carry with them equal amounts of trauma.
The committee of the ceremony was going nowhere fast and rumors were buzzing that it was going to be catastrophic, gasp. So a few people asked me to come in, almost like a consultant to clean it up. For many years I worked as a video and television editor, compiling bits and pieces from film shoots and turning them into stories for a living. So, this was no problem for me. I walked into the meeting and within an hour had the entire ceremony organized and arranged.
However, it would be revealed over the coming weeks that no one but those few people who asked me to come in had hired me. Unbeknownst to me, I had walked in uninvited and crapped all over several people. Although many people were relieved and happy, I deeply upset several sensitive people. These people then formed a committee behind my back to get me thrown out. I did know what hit me as people I loved and trusted conspired against me.
One of the women was so triggered and had a slight case of the “insanity” and, in my fourth year of this so called enlightened healing school, she began to bully me. She bullied me through scathing emails that were sent for the whole class to see. I received almost daily emails of what I could only describe as hateful, confusing and completely ridiculous, targeting me as the entity that must be destroyed. I demanded that she stop, but she said absolutely not, that I deserved it.
From my perspective I was just doing what was asked of me, and I really didn’t need any of this. I hadn’t even wanted to get involved with the ceremony, which is why I wasn’t at the meetings to begin with.
But the worst part? Although I received lots of sympathy from my classmates privately, who couldn’t believe she was doing this, no one said anything to her. Several people bowed out of the ceremony process all together. They were all too afraid. It was my freakin’ childhood all over again…AGAIN. I felt totally numb, scared, hurt, confused, powerless, victimized and sick. The most painful part was that no one had my back. It was actually a little weird. I thought to myself, “What kind of healing school is this, where everyone just stands by and watches someone get attacked?” I realized that this was so out of the ordinary that people just didn’t know how to handle it. Nevertheless, I made a promise to myself at that moment that should I observe that happening to someone in my community, I would help.
At this point, I had a choice, to sink further into playing the victim, to get very aggressive, or to take a stand and find the place within me where I accepted this as my reality and transform it.
I took responsibility for my hidden belief system that was obviously very strong, and went to work to find it. Through some breathing and centering I could find the place inside my heart that accepted this energy from my bully. What I could see was that by accepting it, an energy circuit was activated with her, thus perpetuating the dynamic. When I went deeper into this pain in my heart, the pain said I was bad for being in my power and it just wanted to be liked at any cost, therefore I should sink into the background.
My unrealized longing was to be in my power and lead and it probably came out all sideways, hurting people with the same unrealized longing. I decided that I did not agree with my bully or my pain, and that I was going to stop the circuit. I was not bad. There was a series of misunderstandings and I was naïve, maybe a little overbearing, but not bad.
I took some deep breaths, and allowed the shadow belief to be exposed to the light. I didn’t need to overprocess, I just needed to bring my conscious awareness to the pain and let my love and belief for myself shift the vibration. It was then that I stopped participating in the dynamic.
THE LAST CRAZY EMAIL
When I replied to her last crazy email, I was so unaffected that I made a joke. I saw what she really wanted, because it was the same thing that I wanted. She wrote back laughing at herself and never bullied me again. Just like that. Then we were friends. Of course, I knew she was crazy so we were never good friends! But the air was clear and we were both happy about it.
I then could have compassion for everyone I hurt through my unconsciousness. I walked a little softer into meetings, made more space for those who were scared and let the process naturally unfold instead of ferociously leading like I was editing for live television in New York City. I ended up having a great leadership position as Creative Director of the ceremony as well as participating in many numbers. The ceremony was, by all means, a success. I even got a few apologies.
THE HEALING CONTINUES
A few years later my beloved crazy friend died in a car accident. The ripple of her death was felt through our whole class, the matrix of our tribe forever changed. Her spirit, happy and free, came and visited me during a healing session. Shining brilliant and colorful light, she apologized to me, and we were two souls who were complete.
I felt so grateful that I had handled the situation the way I did. It could have gone in a lot of different directions, but instead, my love for myself and responsibility for my shadow transformed so much ugliness into so much healing.
I use this lesson in my traverses through the astral. Every being is longing to be seen, put to use, be accepted and loved. When I approach an entity in this way, healing beyond what we can imagine happens for both client and entity. My longing with my clients, is to help them find that place within themselves, to find the way to their power, love and acceptance. I educate them about what they are dealing with and teach them not only methods of protection and extraction, but the deep rewarding experience of healing based in love.
When I am able to hold a powerful space of unconditional love, the beings have nowhere to attach to, because any negative beliefs that might attract a negative being, are being bathed in love. In those moments, the love is stronger than any shadow belief. And this is the best argument for truly doing your transformational work. The more beliefs and trauma you bring to the light, the more you are able to be confident in the love you naturally are. I think there may always be shadow energy, but it’s about the balance within you, how brave you are to face your shadow, and how much confidence you have in love in the face of conflict and pain.
It is the love within all of us that makes us strong.
This more than anything, prevents further attack, and sets the client off on a profoundly transformational journey. This gives them the belief to transform their difficult surroundings, and this leads them, quite naturally from rocky shores to safe harbors.
(c) CC Treadway 2011. All rights reserved. You may repost article in its entirety, no changes, with a link back to the site. Please let me know if you repost! Thank you.
THE SHIFT FROM I TO WE: Good News in Cathartic Times
By CC Treadway
Something amazing is happening. The second wave Indigos are taking over. They are not angry, they are not screaming, they are not rebelling. No, no, they are loving the crap out of you. These young ones are coming of age around the world. My friends, the legends are all true, they will heal our planet with their love.
The average age of these innovators? 26. At 36, I feel like the old timer, but I also feel proud because the tracks we laid are being well used and maintained.
I returned to New York on January 1, 2011. I returned to a different city, maybe a different world. See, out in the boonies of rural Arizona, with no TV and everyone disconnected from the mainstream, it was hard to gauge where the pulse of the world was. But in a major metropolitan city, we are shown every day what other cultures are doing, current events are constantly discussed and we are part of the great antenna that broadcasts to the world.
One could say that I have changed, which would be true, but everyone else has too. Life has become a constant collaboration, partly out of need because the economic climate is so different, but also because it seems so pointless now to do everything yourself.
I see that people have changed not only in the spiritual community but in the community at large, which is great because lets face it, the spiritual community is a minority. We are the unsung heroes, meditating and lightworking our butts off in the background.
The biggest tip off that things have changed? My Wall Street-Monsanto-loving-Dad asked me for natural remedies then actually used them. He was rubbing essential oil of Cajeput on his chest and spraying Bee Pollen in his mouth as if he had just discovered a pot of gold. It’s totally weird and totally awesome.
THIS IS WHAT I AM SEEING:
Trees planted everywhere, community gardens, and farmer’s markets galore.
The Empire State Building is using renewable energy. Representatives of the wealth building landmark said in a press conference, “We are not doing this as some kind of charity project for the right thing, we are doing it because it was the best financial decision for the service.” Ya gotta love the suits. But ya also gotta love the tree huggers who developed a superior product at a bargain. Can you see how powerful that is? By not separating out of the game, but engaging fiercely, the centerpiece of the capitalistic world is using renewable energy, and no one had to die for the change.
These flower power heart centered hippies are not afraid to set goals and go after them. I’ve never met spiritual people more grounded and focused on building a solid intention, container and plan for their vision….together. They develop their crafts like any other master, do their emotional work and aren’t afraid to keep it real. They pour their hearts into their projects and care more than everyone else.
As a Gen-Xer, I had to search through the “whatevers” and the “it’s all goods” to find the courage to show how much I cared. But these cats? They are in-your-face with all the caring. They go to the jungle, sit with the medicine and welcome the transformation. And I am gonna stop saying they, because We are in the same tribe. I’ve been waiting a long time for the world to catch up with my heart. I don’t say that in arrogance, because I know I’m not alone, but this is what all of the work has been for; so we could come together to be this great shift that is Now.
The creative energy cannot be contained here. Art, music, writing, business, dance…all of it, together! Community work spaces have developed. These places are more like work and creative clubs, where people pay a membership fee and get access to art classes, office space and coffee.
There are gatherings after gatherings of people coming together to make stuff! Painting together, eating together, meditating together, singing together, visioning and loving the earth together.
For me, what is so interesting about a city, is the breakdancing backdrop of this movement: the buildings, the projects, the noises, the suits, the trains, the arts, the history, the stress, the pressure - the contrast. I love the contrast. And I love how We rest in the middle of that contrast, holding it all, judging none of it, being all of it.
There is no choosing a side, there is no “the government is doing this to us.” It’s an empowered stance of inclusion that says, “We are the system, and this is how We do it.”
In the land of We, there is no them, because we are all reflections, expressions of the One Spirit. We are two sides of the same coin. Do we really believe this? We do.
THE DIVINE FEMININE
I am seeing The Triple Goddess on fire. I am seeing women unafraid of their power, not holding back so that the insecure man can shine at their expense. Oh no, these women are talented, multifaceted, smart, confident, loving and opening to creating with other women and other men. Busting out. Not just in a Divine Feminine gathering, but out in the world.
Women are coming into the world with their ideas and innovation, and claiming their right to family and relationship. There is no one without the other. The Divine Feminine and Masculine are not separate experiences, they’re an integrated experience with nothing to prove. The tracks have been laid and we are all cruising.
Women are no longer hiding in the shadows, storehouses of Earth’s magic kept under wraps, nor are we fighting for our freedom. We have it. (I understand that I am in the United States where this is possible, but now that it is here, I know it will be possible in places where women do not yet have their freedom.)
We are coming together and singing each other’s praises, loving loudly, and the men are right next to us. The young ones did not grow up with too much sexism, and their vibration is strong. So strong it shifts people just by walking into a room. Does this sound like utopia? It kinda feels like it. Don’t wake me up.
THE DIVINE MASCULINE
The other day, my dear friend here in New York had a meltdown on the street. We were leaving a gathering and a lot of energy had moved through the event. I was holding her while she cried on the street, and when I looked up, what was surrounding us? Two young Indigo men holding space for her, deeply in their hearts. They were sending my friend healing energy in her moment, completely grounded, real and present. They didn’t stop until she was done. Holy shit!
I am seeing The Divine Masculine waking up. It is spectacular. And not just because of their apology videos (which I appreciate), but because they are standing in their power and creating a better world with us. They are laying the bricks of change proactively and not just bitchin’ about the corrupt system, or rebelling with inaction. No, they are conquering new landscapes of love by becoming greater masters of energy, talent and intelligence with the women right next to them.
I see them beginning to watch their sexual energy and let it flow wisely into the world, and into the woman. They are beginning to lead with their hearts, and when they look into the eyes of the Feminine, they are actually seeing and respecting her. And I am fanning my face now, breathe, because I have to say, I support these men, I appreciate these men, these men ignite me like lightening in the void.
The heart is not feminine, every human has one. Love is our birthright and we all can share in this blissful state of living in the heart.
I see relationships in flux in the conscious community. Partners are boldly working through eons of codependent dynamics, walking into the cauldron together and hoping for the best sometimes. We haven’t fully crossed the threshold into the new place with it, and I think it is the hardest work of our times. I’m getting a little break right now, but am in deep gratitude for those couples who are transmuting this energy for the planet.
In some ways this is the last frontier for spiritual people: family and home. To create a home environment that is healthy and happy for our children to grow is the most important and sacred job we all have, and yet it is the most difficult. It hits our core, it hits everything vulnerable about us. Spiritual people like to feel invincible, like superheroes. Relationship makes us oh so human, again and again. The brave ones are not backing down, they are committing deeper, letting their love burn through the fire of their resistance, finding their power in the sacred container of relationship.
I still see men resisting standing in the fire of love, perpetually finding themselves and claiming to save the world while they can’t stand by a woman, but I also see that changing. I still see women blaming men for all the wrongs in their lives and in the world, and I also see that changing.
So, let me cheer you on conscious couples and families who are braving the storm. Your love is the backbone of the New World. I see a profound shift in our future as the results of this deep, transformative work lead us to something we cant quite see yet.
And I will also cheer on the single people who are learning to love themselves and be themselves more fully, and hope to inspire you to brave the storm of relationship when it comes your way.
I hope, in the midst of the uncertainty, pain and confusion in the world at this time, that this has helped you. We are moving from I to We, recognizing the beautiful souls around us who are like minded and hearted. Whatever city or town you live in, there are young ones coming of age, ready to love you.
HEALING THE ABANDONMENT ABYSS, PART 1
By CC Treadway
For those of us who have experienced this most intense of all wounds, we know how serious it is. I have found in my healing practice that when it comes down to it, everyone is dealing with abandonment, whether it comes in the form of the fear of rejection, the habitual pattern of love avoidance or good old fashioned codependency and love addiction. From my observations, even those that claim to not experience it really do, it’s just more shrouded.
What is so heartbreaking to see is the judgment and shame that people place on it, not knowing that their reactions are normal. It hurts to be left, but we usually internalize the rejection, making ourselves wrong and unlovable. The good news is that this universal wound is actually something manageable and healable.
One of my biggest teachers has been the abandonment wound.
Coming clean with myself about it and lifting the judgment around it has been one of the most powerful healing responses for both my clients and myself. I continue to grow and learn from it. The fact is codependency is the model we are given for relationship, so its not just the super wounded who need to look at it. However, people who have had early childhood abandonment or abuse will have a more difficult time coping with it as an adult, and yet their system will be patterned for it, so they may find they are reliving brutal rejection and mistreatment time after time, with no tools and no hope to recover or change.
Some events that can trigger this old and unhealed wound are a breakup, a death, being fired, a friendship suddenly ending or an intimate partner or friend who is emotionally unavailable. As a healer and a human, I wanted to dive as deeply into the healing of this wound as I could.
Coming Clean with Myself
Years ago, after a debilitating breakup that left me completely bereft, I devoted myself to healing it. I was sick of feeling awful and powerless, sick of feeling ashamed of my real needs, exhausted from covering up the pain for so long. Of course it wasn't just this breakup, it was ancient, it had always been with me. So I spent five full months tracking when feelings of abandonment would surface. Sometimes it was triggered by an event as simple as saying goodbye to a friend after a movie, other times it would just come over me with no warning. Mostly it was triggered by the loss of that relationship and what that said about my ability to trust myself, and as it turned out, God.
When you get hit by that wound, the mildest reaction is just feeling a bit of sad, lonely discomfort. The most intense reaction is that you feel as though you are completely lost and alone and you must be fed by an external source to survive, addictive feelings begin to control you. It feels like there is nothing supporting you, and nothing to fall back on. It feels like every person in your life doesn’t love you enough or the right way. You begin to try and control your environment and monitor other’s behaviors. It is unhealed child consciousness at its strongest. You must find a primary care giver or you will die. That is the intensity of the emotion.
Sick of trying to cover it up, I finally had to surrender to the experience. I wanted to know just how much it was controlling me. I knew that I would be healing it on a deeper level rather than just applying coping mechanisms, or talking myself out of it.
After this heartbreak, I felt an emptiness and hopelessness inside that was unending and inconsolable, but I had felt this before. Taking responsibility for and confronting the abandonment wound is saying that you are willing to face your deepest fear, your deepest pain. While many things happened in my life to assist in healing this pain, it was my unyielding commitment to the process that brought that about.
The Abandonment Abyss
In those moments where the pain would hit me, I would just sit with myself as the adult, caring witness. I found myself in a deep, black abyss of nothing. It was petrifying at first. And then my child consciousness would appear, crying her eyes out. At the same time that my child consciousness suffered, blamed and cried, my adult consciousness would witness with infinite love, patience and understanding. I had to be strong. I did this again and again and again, sometimes every few minutes in a day.
One time I had to do it for almost three days straight. It was not easy at all, in fact one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I did not let my child take over by affecting my adult behavior. I did not let her “go to the empty well for a drink” as my healer would say. The empty well would be something like trying to get attention from my ex-boyfriend, even if it was ultimately unsatisfying and hurtful. It would have been reaching for ice cream, or talking on the phone non-stop, or not taking responsibility and blaming him. For others it might be drugs, cigarettes or meaningless sex.
Without those vices, I found myself getting to the ultimate wounds- first, abandonment by parents and all the psychology around that, and then inevitably, abandonment by God. That pain was the core, it was unbearable, it was gut wrenching. I felt I had been rejected and betrayed by God, that I didn’t matter at all, the pain was excruciating. I had no choice but to sit with those feelings, to really feel them, to let them out, to hear them.
I sat with this pain a lot. I wanted to be completely unafraid of it. And after some time it was enough. A huge relief washed over me. It was like the weight of the world lifted out of me, making room for the warm, comforting presence of the Divine. It happened automatically, with no preconceived idea that it would. I was overjoyed and felt so cared for. I could feel God within me, filling me, healing me. That was what I really wanted.
The abandonment abyss is what most people are doing anything to avoid, but the truth is, if you face it, it passes. And once you get through it, it gets easier and easier.
Abandonment as Your Ally
Now, the interesting thing is that abandonment has become my ally. Whenever it gets triggered, and it still gets triggered, an instant self love reaction takes place. I had no idea this would happen. Each time I am able to touch deeper parts of the beloved within. The best part is that it’s no one else’s responsibility, so I’ve got the power. Trusting that we are loved and cared for in the midst of chaos takes this practice to a whole new level. It’s challenging, but it’s the only way I know to feel safe.
Abandonment Is a Creative Tool
The other great thing about abandonment is creativity. The best tool we can have right now is our creativity. We will need it to navigate the new world. As our dependency on a corrupt system is crumbling, we need to create the new. Songs, writing, drawing, new business based on love…. all can fill up that seemingly empty void and there is enough for all. This channeling from my guide team describes how abandonment and creativity are linked.
You hold a lot of power as you honor yourself, as you love all parts of yourself. For so long you have tried to eradicate abandonment and now what you are doing is just simply letting go of the idea that it is wrong, it is a gift of story for you as a human, it is a great teacher and there is infinite space and colors in the wound of abandonment. Can you feel the limitless possibilities of creation in the space of abandonment? Can you feel that within yourself - how profound a feeling it is to sit in that space of longing, of emptiness, of pain that seems to stretch as wide as you could possibly fee? Well it is no accident, it is Creators choice, your choice to experience this pain and create within it. There are so many possibilities in life but this vacancy is the abyss. This vacancy is the abyss.
And so as you bring forth your creations in this void of voids, you heal, you make more room for yourself, for your expansion, for your colors, for your music, and as you bring in the creativity, divine love pours from your soul, reminding you of who you are, reminding you that this is all temporary and it is a gift. For creativity is divine. It is direct food, the elixir of your being. Feel the gratitude for such a unique expression of who you are, for such a deep experience of your fullness, your completeness in the vacancy. Do not fear this place, but use it now. Use it to heal. For you understand now, that it is not just there to torture you but to serve you into your highest potential. The abandonment wound opens up limitless space for your creations, for you.
You can bring in the love, let it shower the pain, let it heal the pain, but only when you accept that this emptiness, this loneliness is there as a gift to serve you as a human can you experience the joy of being abandoned, only to discover you are more than you were before. I know what you are thinking, “How could that be joyful?” but we tell you, humanity is just simply irreplaceable, impossible to replicate, it’s perfect. Thank yourself for choosing this crazy pain, this crazy bliss and create within it.
So the next time you feel someone has left you, the next time you feel you need someone else to fill that empty hole, make it bigger, make that pain as big and wide as you can and start to create. Fill it up, paint the canvas, pick up the guitar, cook a meal, or simply feel every particle of your being expand. This is experiential, you must try it. There is purpose in every experience here. Don’t waste it. Let it fill you, let it be you, choose it again and again, every day. Choose your creative longing to expand within. Choose your humanity. Be proud of who you are, even in your darkest moments you are so brave to live this challenge. We sit in awe of your strength, of your efforts, of your potential.
Coming Back into Community
That channeling was so reassuring to me. Through the healing of this wound, and the commitment to tend to it, create from it and love myself, I was able to receive true friendship, true partnership and true community. Life naturally opened up to the bounty of the Universe and I was never alone again.
(c) 2007- 2011 CC Treadway. A