HEALING THE ABANDONMENT ABYSS, Part 2
By CC Treadway
If you would like to read Part 1 of this series please click here:
In the last article I went into the importance of dealing with the pain of abandonment. In this article I will go into more detail with the chakra system of the healing process.
The most important thing about healing abandonment is that you have to admit you have a problem. Many people are defending against this pain so much that they cannot even get to it. But if you continually feel empty, like you need to fill a void with something, you have an abandonment wound. An abandonment wound can lead you to substance abuse, to emotional detachment, inability to commit in relationship or over-dependence on another to give meaning to your own life. Its actually easier to heal a wound that manifests as dependence, than avoidance, because at least an emotionally codependent person is in touch with their feelings, admitting they have needs. The avoider will deny they have any needs, and will simply bypass the emotional body by filling the space immediately. They reject people, but at the same time have a very difficult time letting anyone out of their life completely. It’s torturous on the person semi-rejected. It is also possible to swing back and forth between these two types.
Dean Ramsden (deanramsden.com), founder of Relational Energy Healing, has taught me a lot about this wounding and how it is reflected in the energy field. To paraphrase him:
During the formation of the second chakra, the child is supposed to be modeled its own self. When a parent abandons, or does not nurture and reflect the child’s individuality, the child makes the decision to release its energy from its body and merge with the parent, beginning a life long pattern of meeting the parent’s needs to feel itself. It therefore merges its identity with the parent.
Hence, codependence. If this pattern continues through life then the codependent will look at itself or its partner as a parent, and not be able to feel its own self unless it is merged in the relationship. Loss of the relationship can be devastating, and recovering the sense of self may take a lot of time and patience. Whereas a healthy person will recover from the breakup in the normal phases, a person who has suffered this wounding may never recover, but carry that pain with them through their life, never daring to enter into another relationship, or continually entering relationships that do not satisfy or nurture, but rewound. They may also hang on to the memory of the last relationship in an effort to avoid the total loss of self.
Many people just do not want to admit they do this, and would rather stay in blame. You know the type, the one that constantly talks about the horrible things their ex did to them, and how they were the victim. They also may never leave the relationship and just complain about it for the rest of their lives. While its normal to learn from relationships and blame can come into the picture, it should be a phase that ends, giving way to self-responsibility and healing.
What I find in the spiritual communities, is that in order to avoid dealing with this, we “spiritualize” the relationship. “He’s a soulmate!” “A psychic told me we would be together forever, so I have to stay with him.” “I need to finish my karma with her.” All of these things may be true, but healing it will require addressing some basic psychological and emotional stuff, as well as some mastery in the energy realm.
A codependent, or anyone who feels the pain of abandonment, is ready to heal when they get tired of blame, sink into the misery of the pain, and ask for help. I do believe the 12 step programs are very good and often recommend clients go there. But I also believe there are things that a trained energy healer can do to speed up the process of healing, provided the client is ready and willing.
USING CHAKRA SYSTEM IN HEALING PROCESS
While it is necessary to work with all the chakras in any healing process, I will go specifically into chakras two and three.
Redevelopment of Second Chakra: “I Recognize Myself”
While all the chakras will be addressed in any healing process, the second chakra is usually the main player at first. This chakra never learned how to experience its own self and have it be reflected in the world. That sucks!!!
This is what I do with my clients, although I want to give Dean Ramsden and another great healer, Joy Adler (joyadler.com), the credit they deserve for teaching me most of it. And back to their teachers, Barbara Brennan, Rosalyn Bruyere and on and on. I call it energy modeling. I sit with my client and ask them to feel their own self. I assist them by helping them find a time in their life, or a place where they felt totally safe to be themselves. 100% of the time these clients choose a time where they are alone. That’s because truthfully, they have never experienced their true self in the company of another. I ask them to recognize how this feels in their body. When they are feeling all warm and fuzzy, I remind them of my presence. Almost immediately their field shifts into their habitual pattern: their energy leaves their own body and comes towards me. But I do something different than what they are used to. I put up an energy boundary and do not take in their energy and merge. For some clients this can be very scary. It feels like rejection. But what they see over time is that I am not rejecting, I am actually staying in loving witness mode for their essence. I coach them to bring their energy back into their system and take in the reflection I am offering without trying to take my energy.
Almost always this is a huge awakening. It was for me the first time it was done for me. The difference is, instead of the excitement and rush of merging with another or the child trying through its habitual way to get love it always wanted from the parent, the feeling is just getting to be yourself. Now for some people this is a huge adjustment of thought, “What fun is that? How will I know if I like them if I do not feel a huge intense bolt of lightening?” Dean once asked me, “Are you confusing intensity with love?” Perhaps...
For a healthy, long lasting relationship, getting to be yourself is the most important element. The love that grows from this healthy foundation is solid, lasting and exiting in a whole new way.
Redevelopment of Third Chakra: “I Respect Myself”
The third chakra has a lot to do with willpower. If you do not have a healthy sense of self, and self respect, then your third chakra will probably need a lot of work. The front aspect of the third chakra can be about your self-respect and how you give to others. The back is about your self-care, how you give to yourself. Some people have very large third chakras in the front, and teeny weeny ones in the back. This is usually because they are caretaking others…to avoid facing abandonment. They easily allow others to hook into their energy and become drained when they give. This can be a conundrum because giving in itself feels good, but when it is done from a place of caretaking, it is draining to the field. Then the caretaker will inevitably need to recharge either with solitude or by draining someone else’s field.
It is very difficult for people with distorted third chakras to say no. Learning good boundaries is essential for recovery. Reconstructing the third chakra and teaching someone how to give and receive from Source is a huge part of the healing process. For someone with addiction problems, healing third chakra issues is essential for developing healthy self-esteem and willpower. I have witnessed addicts literally lose all sense of self and willpower when they are around others who are involved in addictive behaviors. Their third chakras get large, lose their form and they get totally caught up in the group field of “the addict,” no longer able to experience their own self or thoughts. Like a robot they end up using again. The 12 step programs insist that recovering addicts surround themselves with healthy environments and there is deep wisdom in that. It takes doing that over and over to retrain the emotional and energetic bodies to respond to people and environments that are truly beneficial.
Briefly, here is some of the work that gets done with the other chakras:
First chakra: “I have enough.” Deeply connecting with Mother Earth, healing root cords to birth parents. Feeling safe, supported and taken care of on Earth.
Fourth chakra: “I am filled.” Feeling safe to really love, feeling safe enough to feel heartbreak and childhood wounds. Experiencing Divine Love in relationships.
Fifth chakra: “I trust.” Learning to receive, trust Divine, and dropping control in relationships and life.
Sixth chakra: “I see the truth.” Replacing projected thoughts with truth. Seeing through the veil of truth as opposed to childhood wounds. Creating from that truth.
Seventh chakra: “I am the Divine.” Grounding Divine energies into body. Being strong enough to face real pain of Divine separation and not “spiritual bypass.” Learning true Divine Connection as a human.
APPLYING THESE CONCEPTS TO BIGGER PICTURE
Right now humanity is being deeply tested as it goes through major transition and a worldwide economic collapse. I thank Creator every day for the lessons that people, including myself, are learning, difficult as they are. We are a people dependent upon relationship systems that are no longer functioning. On a grand scale, our dependence on the “system” is just a big codependent relationship. And we have all said, on some level, “Enough! I want my power! I want real love, I want my life to be based on truth!” It does say on the dollar bill, “In God We Trust.” That is where we are headed. And it’s a wonderful process.
Breaking our dependency on the “system” is like breaking our dependency on anything that doesn’t serve us: Exciting, terrifying, uncertain, destabilizing, hopeful. It’s a major breakup, and for some a major heartbreak. It is not easy. It certainly hasn’t been easy for me. You don’t have to lose all your money to feel what is happening, because it’s not about money, it’s about healing a massive, unhealthy codependency and coming into deep love and trust. It will require a leap of faith into the abandonment abyss to inevitably be caught in the arms of the Divine.
Despite all the conspiracy theories out there, and the massive Earth changes that could occur, I believe what comes next is a better system. We are coming together as a planet to create a system that works for Earth and for us… and I am on board.
(c) CC Treadway 2011. All rights reserved. You may repost this article in its entirety with a link back to this site. Please let me know if you repost!
WE ARE THE 100%: THOUGHTS ON THE rEVOLUTION
By CC Treadway
Earlier this year, I found out about these things called “meditation flash mobs.” Excited at the prospect of being in my heart with others in some of the busiest places in New York City, I became a meditation flash mob junkie. The experience consists of picking a busy, public place and then gathering to meditate together for an hour. Following the meditation we usually chant and do a little dancing.
The crowd consists of indigo and crystal kids all grown up, actualizing their mission, and then others flock around them. These flash mobs have been happening all over the world, from Sedona, AZ to Moscow, Russia. The intention is to bring light and love to that area.
The first time we meditated together was in Union Square, the busiest section of downtown New York. I was shocked at how blissful the experience was, how many people came to join, and how many people thought we were entertaining enough to watch.
When we sit down to meditate, it’s like the universe knows exactly what to do. The click into bliss is immediate. Every time we do these meditations, I see crystal cities of light descending up on us. The energy is very strong, and will usually affect me for days.
I HAD BIGGER DREAMS
I didn’t want to stop there. Sure, unifying in our hearts anywhere unexpected is an amazing experience, but there was more. I had a dream. I yearned to infuse the financial system with love. This dream has pulsed inside me for years. You see, I don’t hate Wall Street, bankers or any other kind of successful person. I loooooove them. I was raised by a pack of ambitious wuvable Wall Street wolves who looooooved me.
Every time I hear someone saying how much they hate the system or money, I want to send love to them, and to the system, and to money. (Please read this article: Money, Power, Sex and the Snake for more info on this.)
Some people can’t wait for the system to crash, for money to disappear, for bartering to become the main source of exchange again. In fact, I hear predictions of the global economy crashing daily from all kinds of reliable and unreliable sources.
And yet the economy hangs on, we hang on, somehow we are all still functioning in this fluctuating system. Grass roots communities form, and Bentleys are still purchased. Could a shrinking middle class result in a growing grass roots movement for a new kind of society? Because being stripped of our material wealth creates resourceful thinking, shared thinking and creative solutions.
How many of us have had this happen in the last few years? I went through it. What a blessing. And we are doing it within this current system….because we are the system. We are the 100%. The system is not out there somewhere being forced upon us, it reflects all of us and our actions, feelings and reactions. The masses (we) went to sleep and let the overlords control us, and now we don’t want that anymore. It’s simple at the macro level.
So perhaps there is a better way than everything going to hell in a handbasket all at once. If we are the 100%, then lets walk our talk with the oneness stuff, and lets infuse our love into every aspect of life, including the economy. Economies, whether based on bartering or currency need our love. Something better is happening. Somehow we all still get up in the morning, using what has been built in our past, to inform and help create what we would like in the future. And I see that we are changing things for the better, together.
WALL STREET LOVE
We are well aware of the powerful energy that the financial industry is working with… and somehow most people feel that energy, that force, that world, is separate from them or does not belong to them. It’s only separate if you let it be. Do not be afraid. That energy can be reclaimed and integrated in the heart. Imagine if that most powerful energy was infused with Love? Think of the possibilities for abundance!
Wall street is the center of many ley lines coming together and creating a strong vortex that broadcasts to the rest of the world. The experience of being down there is actually very calm, like being in the eye of the storm.
In August of 2011, about six weeks before the #Occupy movement took hold, my friend Anthony Finno, owner of City Life Wellness here in Brooklyn, put on a suit, called on the meditators and headed down to Wall Street. We set up an unassuming meditation flash mob directly in front of the New York Stock Exchange! My dream was becoming a reality! Anthony, a master negotiator, had the police, the paparazzi and the bankers in the palm of our hands instantly.
Our intention was simply to hold a loving and grounded space for whatever transition needed to happen. We were aware that there was a lot of chaotic and fearful energy around financial fluctuations, people losing jobs and homes, corruption being exposed and so on and so on. What if we held the space for all of that energy to be met with love? What if we allowed ourselves to channel that energy deep into the earth so it could be supported and nurtured?
It was important that we be outside, that we be seen, instead of doing our lightwork thing in secret like it’s been for so long. Anthony made a huge banner with our intention statement so everyone knew what we were doing and encouraged us to talk to people if they were curious. We were not protesting or challenging anything, just loving. We were peaceful, non confrontational and respectful. Proudly, we made the New York Times and several other news sources.
We continued these meditations about once a week for six weeks until one day it was enough. On that last day we were accompanied by an ancient Olmec crystal skull affectionately called Pancho. Three days later, the #Occupy movement came in.
#OCCUPY THE WORLD
It was never just about the hippies. Everyone is down there, representing all of us. And the movement grew and went global so quickly. 70,000 people took to the streets in Israel, hundreds of cities participated and continue to participate all over the world. Northern Africa is liberating itself and choosing democracy without the US Army forcing them to do so. What is happening in the world right now is nothing short of amazing.
Our meditation flash mob team set up shop in Liberty Park with the protesters and have continued with bi-weekly meditations since the movement began. It is unbelievable the variety of folks that are down there. We see our part as simply balancing and participating in the adventure.
Each one of us collectively created the reality we are living in now. Each one of us, whether we are members of the elite, whether we are the shrinking middle class, whether we are on welfare, whether we are the farmer in the US or abroad, have made decisions to support the current reality. And now, collectively, we are making the decision to improve it.
On a personal level, one of the things that gets me meditating on the street is the thought of childhood slavery and prostitution. Who else can’t tolerate that? No more. I don’t want an ounce of my tax dollars, of my energy, of my livelihood contributing unknowingly to these kinds of abuses. No taxation without representation.
My wish for those screaming and yelling at the tall buildings and people in suits is to let that energy light up your fire of personal empowerment to help build the new world. Together. This new world requires you to surrender to your hearts, your passions and to bravely step forward and believe that you are taken care of by life itself. It asks you to be proactive in co-creating your dreams. In the new world there is no lack. Let your screams fill the holes in your belief systems that convince you that you don’t have enough or that you aren’t enough. Let the power of your eternal soul light you on fire to the truth that you are abundant and taken care of at all times.
To those who would rather remain silent and disconnected with stockpiles of insider trades in their back vault, I wish for you the gentle letting go of the illusion that hoarding makes you powerful and safe because you don’t believe there is enough, because sinking into life feels so impossible. I wish for you to see that were you to lose everything, you would be taken care of, abundantly, with everyone else. Together. The new world asks you to be softer, more flexible and to experience the joy in togetherness. What are your secrets, and who are you really? We want to know. Let the power of your eternal soul light you on fire to the truth that you are abundant and taken care of at all times.
THE END OF TIME, THE BEGINNING OF….
On October 27th, 2011 I went to the event with the 13 crystals skulls and the Mayan priests expecting something new and huge to hit me. But as I listened, I realized we had already achieved what they were talking about. Global unification was happening as they were speaking.
The revolution will not be televised, but it will be between you and me, face to face, soul to soul. And I think we did it. The years of preparing through lightwork, ceremony, and the reading and rereading of prophecy were all validated when a global outcry for a better world hit the streets. People want a world that more accurately reflects their hearts, and are tired of letting corruption go by unchecked. We will continue to shout it out until our energy and hearts are fully woven into the new system. The new system is global, conscious and requires everyone to bring their full selves in to participate. It will take time to form, but it is happening.
This new system exists within a different experience of time than we have known, it is born from our hearts, and not from our minds trying to fix something broken. As a healer, I know that if I approach a client like they are a problem needing to be fixed, no healing happens. Healing happens when we know and see the true source within, when we tap into the body and soul’s natural way of being, which is health and harmony.
I leave you with a few brilliant quotes by members of our community:
“If you are wondering what type of people are Occupying Wall Street I will tell you exactly what I see. Some people know exactly what’s wrong with the world, some people just have a sense that something’s not right, some people have amazing ideas and plans to heal the world, some people have no clue, but ALL people at Wall Street are STANDING UP FOR YOU and your mother and your father and the guy who you buy coffee from at the deli down the block from your house in the morning. So when you ask me what type of people are Occupying Wall Street I'll tell you that the only people who are Occupying Wall Street are the bravest people I have ever met! LOVE YOU ALL!!! ♥ Let's Turn Our Mother Earth Into the Paradise that it is Waiting to Grow Into.” -Jesse Mejia
“Since following the development of this movement, I have come across such inspiring conversations between people who are seemingly on "opposite sides" but trying to find common ground. I see that some are waking up, looking at ourselves and seeing how we contributed to the mess, taking responsibility and brainstorming solutions that take everyone's voice into account. There's a lot of different opinions and it's messy. But I have been so moved just by witnessing people focusing on their similarities instead of their differences, reaching out across party/race/lifestyle/class/etc lines to have real conversations. There is no 99%. We're all in this together, and my hope is that more and more people start to see it that way…. But ultimately, what we have already achieved is for people to stand up, speak up, and get together in community. Whatever happens next, it has opened us up to speaking with our neighbors in a city in which that almost never happens. And, to tell you the truth... I feel it's all about enjoying this big adventure! We don't know how to create what we want, but it's so exciting that we are getting together to try to make it happen.” -Melody Kiersz
(c) 2011 CC Treadway. All rights reserved. You may repost this article in its entirety with a link back to this site. Please let me know if you repost!
AUTHENTIC LIVING THROUGH HARMONIOUS ABUNDANCE
By CC Treadway
I have been exploring the concept of harmonious abundance for some time. Harmonious abundance would include: being successful and driven without destroying the planet, loving what I do and being financially supported by it, not working myself to the bone and having a happy and balanced family and social life to boot.
So, I went from working my to the top in the commercial arts, to opening my heart, to burning out, to stepping out of the matrix without a parachute, to landing flat on my face in poverty while I dedicated myself to my “dream”, to recovering and being in a state of constant abundance during a 6 year period I like to call, “Hell.” Can ya feel me? I mean its such a cliché I’m embarrassed to share it, but I have noticed so many people going through this process who are just as clueless as I was, so I offer this article as some possible insight.
We all have our own versions of hell, but this process for me was unexpected, out of my control and totally agonizing. It was a time of constantly questioning who I was, not feeling like I fit into to any group, culture, subculture or counterculture. And yet it was also a time of constant new horizons (which hasn’t changed), exploring the different landscapes of life and my psyche.
Many of us are questioning our values, wanting our vision of success to work in harmony with environment, but totally confused in how to make the transition. Feeling like our dreams and goals are supported in a society that is in the midst of this same transition is overwhelming. I mean; we have no idea what is going on on a good day.
These concepts aren’t brand new, but put in context for the spiritually oriented person just trying to make a difference in the world, it forms a nice roadmap.
Have you asked yourself:
If you have asked yourself these questions, congratulations, you are in transition! If you have been asking these questions for years with no real change, then you are stuck in transition, unable to move forward. Congratulations! It’s time to move forward.
My interest has become: what if you could have it all? What if you could live in harmony with nature, participate in the system and do what you love in the world? What if your dreams and visions seamlessly wove together your gifts, prosperity and abundance for all?
First, let us go into the different forms of manifesting, because this is very important to understand. As you are reading, you may recognize yourself in one or all categories. Please celebrate the gift of who you are.
LEFT BRAIN MANIFESTING
Most highly successful people understand this. They study the cycles of their particular business, assess their personalities and their life goals, and proceed accordingly. Their instincts work in conjunction with their life goals. Since they know how to shut off their feelings when it comes to work, they handle failures and rejections well, and continue forward. They are able to make plans, set long term goals, stick with them and actualize them. Contrary to popular ascension belief, this type of manifesting isn’t going anywhere. It is very useful and will continue to work well for those naturally wired in this way.
When I hang with the Wall Street crowd, they have a life plan that began at birth, and it doesn’t stop at their funeral. They have also meticulously planned how their wealth will be distributed for the future generations. This does not make them greedy or superior, this makes them masters of linear time. A mature left brainer is reliable, accountable and puts integrity as a priority in their life. Long-term planners and achievers have power and are comfortable with how they are. It is just the way it is. Better to understand that than to get angry about it.
True left brainers also tend to admire creativity, supporting the arts and filling their homes with expensive, wealth accumulating paintings.
The temptation when using a linear format to manifest is going into “push” or “will,” which is attempting to override the forces of nature with our personal desires. This is how most people operate when they are not in their authentic selves. They are out of harmony with nature, destroying the Earth and trying to control everything and everyone.
Because of the ability to shut off the feeling part of the brain to get tasks done they can lose their compassion in the face of challenge. Unfortunately this happens a lot, and oftentimes the people who make it to the top are the ones that care the least. But it’s so important to remember that not all linear types are evil! Some are very connected to their hearts.
I have met Wall Street and real estate moguls who are totally in their authentic selves and in their integrity. They work with the forces and the cycles, they know who they are and know their limits, and they have incredible access to energy. I have also met a few who do not practice these principles. They are out of harmony with nature, creating destruction and they end up sick and on my healing table- usually for just one or two sessions though, because lets face it, energy healing is a reach for the linear mind!
So, that goes for all of us. If we go into push and refuse to pay attention to the forces of nature, whether rich or poor, in “the system” or “out,” we get sick. I have certainly had my experience of this.
The Left Brain in My Life
My schooling in the left brain way of life was great. I grew up with a father who is a master at it. I worked in the commercial arts as a video editor and I accomplished every career goal I had set out to by age 34, bought an apartment in NYC, put myself through healing school and traveled the world. Financially supporting myself with my left brain while working with my right brain was a breeze. But when I started opening my heart in my healing work, I found myself wanting to be more artistic and less linear. I wanted more experience with my feminine side. It seemed like the shangrila of life. I wanted a garden, a strong man, an art and music studio to create away in, long sunsets on the porch and less structure. Simple right?
RIGHT BRAIN MANIFESTING
True right brained types live life in the moment. When I talk to most artists or spiritual people, their plans stop before they start, or they don’t use that word at all. Try making dinner plans with them, most likely you will just have to catch them in the right moment, or you will be eating alone. Accumulating masses of wealth over time is probably unlikely unless they have someone helping them who has a stronger long term focus.
However, a right brained person is more likely to have sudden windfalls of money, miracles to bail them out in the moment, or the money just “showing up” when they need it. They also tend to “meet the right person at the right time.” They are the ones that get up in the middle of a meeting because they just “feel they need to walk 3 blocks north.” Of course, a shaman from the Amazon is waiting for them there with the healing formula for their sick friend. This does not make them flaky or better, it makes them masters of the moment.
As they mature, and if they are smart, they will have learned how to work with the natural fluctuations of the creative force. This includes not being depressed when things naturally recede, or putting money away and budgeting wisely for the times when the forces of nature are quiet.
With the rise of the divine feminine energy, the support for right brain manifesting is increasing. This is why some who were forced to manifest the left brain way for so long are now having much more success living and thriving in the moment. Masses of spiritual and artistic types are getting together and celebrating how awesome their way of doing things is. Opportunities to create and share are popping up everywhere. But, I will say again, the linear way of manifesting is not going anywhere, things are just balancing out.
Often, but not always, the frustration with these types of people is that they don’t know how to create stability, they can’t really see ahead and it leaves them confused and in a state of inaction. Depression can set in when a huge surge of energy dies down and they are forced to integrate in a more quiet way.
The other trap is “passivity/laziness” or “entitlement,” which means that you are overriding your personal desires with the expectation of being taken care of by the forces of nature. Working with the universe from the right brain means showing up, being fully present in your authentic self with your gifts, and allowing Creator to meet you and gift you. It means listening closely to what the universe is asking of you and doing your best to meet it and participate with life. It’s always an exchange.
It does not mean smoking weed all day, saying “fuck the man!” while you collect your welfare check. I have met many of these people. They do not end up on my healing table, because they expect me to go to their house and heal them for free, thanking them as I let myself out.
In our culture, the right brained way is looked down upon. Think about it: starving artists, martyr healers, non profits, etc. Human beings, especially in the United States, have associated doing right brained things with poverty, and have made it less important. Highly right brain dominant people will struggle in our society the way it is set up unless they find a great left brainer to take care of them. Oftentimes that person ends up being the system itself.
But the answer isn’t making our society wrong. It’s engaging the journey of the empowered artist, the empowered healer, and seeing how that can integrate and be valued in our culture. Of course, the masculine and feminine must both see the value in the other, meeting in the middle for the new solution.
My Switch to the Right
My schooling in the right brained way of life was brutal. Mostly because I had a lot of images about what it actually meant, personally and what I inherited culturally. But also because I am naturally centered in the middle of the right and left brains, so it was like wearing a dress that didn’t quite fit. Nevertheless, I had this idea that I was supposed to be an unpredictable artist with long, flowy hair that was in constant communication with Mother Nature, spewing out songs on call and not caring about things like the bills.
This is what I see a lot of people doing as well. We devalued and lost our true feminine natures, so finding them is a little dicey at first! For me, the shadow beliefs that played themselves out were a deeply unhealed, unloved feminine. But I did not know this, I would have told you the opposite.
So, I lost everything, fell into extreme passivity and poverty, lost direction and then was severely physically injured for almost two years. Not a lot of songwriting going on in that state! I was totally shocked and my feminine apparently didn’t feel too supported.
I also found that while I was helpless and entirely dependent on others for a bit, that there were a lot of people there with me. They were very, very angry with the system for not making room for them, for not seeing their way of doing things and for trying to make them into someone they weren’t. They then completely rejected everything they associated with the system and lost touch with their own empowerment. If you had any doubt, you can bet that a lot of the world’s poverty problem is simply a rejection of the feminine.
I didn’t want to stay this way, so I dedicated myself to healing and getting truly empowered in my feminine. I had to learn from the ground up what feminine abundance was, because it was not given to me and because a back injury was making it really hard to get up off the ground!
After some years of growing out my hair and living with nature in the middle of nowhere I did finally receive the gifts of this approach. I learned that I was always taken care of, that I was part of nature, and that I could work with the seasons and cycles for abundance. By the end of my “training” I was actually able to perceive the forces of nature before they came to me, and began working with them to create and thrive. I also learned that I needed my masculine side turned on and active for any creative impulses to come through. Structure and support were paramount to get anything done and to feel worthy. The two sides of me began to fall madly in love.
One day I was having a very flustered conversation with my dear friend about whether I should give it all up and join the traveling circus, or whether I should give it all up and work on Wall street, she said to me: “CC, you are not caught in the middle of two opposites, you are at the top of the pyramid. Your spiritual connection overrides duality, and you have both an extraordinary intelligence and an artistic gift. When you accept that, you will see there are others there with you, and you have a specific job to do.”
This was a defining moment and completely changed my perspective of my situation. Not only did I feel pretty great about myself, but also, I felt something had been named, and that was important at that time. From that point I accepted who I was, and now have not just one, but a community of people who are right there with me.
So how do the Center people manifest?
First, I will say that I think more people are coming into center as the masculine and feminine forces come into balance within ourselves. It’s the only way out of this crisis we are in. To me it is the crux of every spiritual tradition, and certainly at the heart of most every spiritual teacher I hear.
Both ways of operating need to be mastered to be able to rest comfortably in the center. From the center point, life can be viewed in the spherical way or in the linear way. They exist at the same time. It’s a delicate balance of connecting with your personal will, and allowing life to meet you. From the center point we know we are God and we know we are taken care of, but we also know that our personal goals and desires can be created.
We do this guilt free, because somehow we know that we were born to do just this. We believe in ourselves, don’t give up and trust the universe enough to know that all is well no matter what happens.
I use both sides of the brain when needed, and I am happy to say they stopped arguing. It’s a happy marriage. So if I need to plan, I plan. But I know within that plan that I must leave space open for spirit to gift me in the moment and I know things can change. The universe may throw a lot of goodies my way, but I have the choice to accept or decline, depending on my long-term goals.
It took me a long time to have the courage to set goals again after my stint in the right brain. With all the ascension talk, I thought it I would never set a goal again. But being grounded in my long-term desires offers as much pleasure as creative impulses.
This is an example of Harmonious Abundance in my life. I create seasonal business plans while actively meditating and using ceremony to receive. I ask Mother Nature and Creator before starting every new project, and make offerings as an exchange for their support, encouragement and advice. Sometimes they ask things of me, I do them. I am in constant communication with them while pursuing my goals and don’t get angry with them when things don’t go my way. I use this way of interacting with the forces of the universe for every desire I am serious about creating/receiving. I align with my Higher Self and heart every day to make sure my goals are in alignment with my true self. There are always unexpected gifts and pitfalls on the path, and that is just life. My job is to accept the process and do my best.
Harmonious abundance doesn’t separate out. It does not say, “I am out of the system and in Nature.” The system is the structure of society, inherently left brained, so that would simply be the right brain rejecting the left. From a harmonious standpoint we constantly look at what is being balanced, what will need to be balanced and how we as individuals fit into that process. Then we can work within that framework, which is actually larger than the temporary financial or government system that is in place in any society. In that way we can ride major life changes, government collapses or system transformations with strategic intelligence.
Harmonious Abundance is inclusive and based in the heart. It does not make the other wrong. Business becomes a divine, creative project not the enemy. Money is an expression of our energy, how much we value ourselves, and used as a tool for creation. If money transforms into something else, we will still need to accept and master the energy it was created from. The arts, music and dance weave our experience of life together and give us an opportunity to express our creative passion, a fundamental aspect to our humanity. All of us are a living, breathing part of the whole and we become incapable of dismissing Mother Nature or other people in our desires.
Harmonious Abundance understands that things are always being born and things are always being completed - to be born again in a new way. One needs only tend to a garden for a few years to understand that.
I hope that this information provides a roadmap for you to step more fully into your authentic self and assists you in living your dream, whatever it may be.
(c) CC Treadway 2011. All rights reserved. You may repost this article in its entirety with a link back to this site. Please let me know if you repost!
DON’T MESS WITH ME, I LOVE YOU
Transforming Victimhood into Empowerment
By CC Treadway
I often get requests from people who want me to extract their demons for them. I reply to them and let them know that I will ask them to commit to a series of sessions to help transform inner beliefs that are perpetuating the attachments/attacks. Nine times out of ten I never hear back from them.
I have colleagues I can refer them to should they just want good old fashioned shamanic relief, but long term results require a dedication and commitment on the part of the client that many are not willing to do. I do not consider myself a sweeper, I help people grow into their power through self responsibility, healing and education.
As I planned my curriculum for a new summer tele-course, Psychic Empowerment, I remembered this very significant story in my life when I stepped out of the victim paradigm into the super strong love paradigm and watched the world around me change.
HEALERS + CEREMONY = DRAMA
During my 4th year at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing I was asked to take on a leadership role for our final class ceremony. These ceremonies were no small thing. It was really the time for people to showcase their deep, unrealized longings to be seen and applauded. So if you had a dream to sing or dance in front of everyone, this was your time to shine. Of course, this made the whole process very delicate, as these unrealized dreams we have usually carry with them equal amounts of trauma.
The committee of the ceremony was going nowhere fast and rumors were buzzing that it was going to be catastrophic, gasp. So a few people asked me to come in, almost like a consultant to clean it up. For many years I worked as a video and television editor, compiling bits and pieces from film shoots and turning them into stories for a living. So, this was no problem for me. I walked into the meeting and within an hour had the entire ceremony organized and arranged.
However, it would be revealed over the coming weeks that no one but those few people who asked me to come in had hired me. Unbeknownst to me, I had walked in uninvited and crapped all over several people. Although many people were relieved and happy, I deeply upset several sensitive people. These people then formed a committee behind my back to get me thrown out. I did know what hit me as people I loved and trusted conspired against me.
One of the women was so triggered and had a slight case of the “insanity” and, in my fourth year of this so called enlightened healing school, she began to bully me. She bullied me through scathing emails that were sent for the whole class to see. I received almost daily emails of what I could only describe as hateful, confusing and completely ridiculous, targeting me as the entity that must be destroyed. I demanded that she stop, but she said absolutely not, that I deserved it.
From my perspective I was just doing what was asked of me, and I really didn’t need any of this. I hadn’t even wanted to get involved with the ceremony, which is why I wasn’t at the meetings to begin with.
But the worst part? Although I received lots of sympathy from my classmates privately, who couldn’t believe she was doing this, no one said anything to her. Several people bowed out of the ceremony process all together. They were all too afraid. It was my freakin’ childhood all over again…AGAIN. I felt totally numb, scared, hurt, confused, powerless, victimized and sick. The most painful part was that no one had my back. It was actually a little weird. I thought to myself, “What kind of healing school is this, where everyone just stands by and watches someone get attacked?” I realized that this was so out of the ordinary that people just didn’t know how to handle it. Nevertheless, I made a promise to myself at that moment that should I observe that happening to someone in my community, I would help.
At this point, I had a choice, to sink further into playing the victim, to get very aggressive, or to take a stand and find the place within me where I accepted this as my reality and transform it.
I took responsibility for my hidden belief system that was obviously very strong, and went to work to find it. Through some breathing and centering I could find the place inside my heart that accepted this energy from my bully. What I could see was that by accepting it, an energy circuit was activated with her, thus perpetuating the dynamic. When I went deeper into this pain in my heart, the pain said I was bad for being in my power and it just wanted to be liked at any cost, therefore I should sink into the background.
My unrealized longing was to be in my power and lead and it probably came out all sideways, hurting people with the same unrealized longing. I decided that I did not agree with my bully or my pain, and that I was going to stop the circuit. I was not bad. There was a series of misunderstandings and I was naïve, maybe a little overbearing, but not bad.
I took some deep breaths, and allowed the shadow belief to be exposed to the light. I didn’t need to overprocess, I just needed to bring my conscious awareness to the pain and let my love and belief for myself shift the vibration. It was then that I stopped participating in the dynamic.
THE LAST CRAZY EMAIL
When I replied to her last crazy email, I was so unaffected that I made a joke. I saw what she really wanted, because it was the same thing that I wanted. She wrote back laughing at herself and never bullied me again. Just like that. Then we were friends. Of course, I knew she was crazy so we were never good friends! But the air was clear and we were both happy about it.
I then could have compassion for everyone I hurt through my unconsciousness. I walked a little softer into meetings, made more space for those who were scared and let the process naturally unfold instead of ferociously leading like I was editing for live television in New York City. I ended up having a great leadership position as Creative Director of the ceremony as well as participating in many numbers. The ceremony was, by all means, a success. I even got a few apologies.
THE HEALING CONTINUES
A few years later my beloved crazy friend died in a car accident. The ripple of her death was felt through our whole class, the matrix of our tribe forever changed. Her spirit, happy and free, came and visited me during a healing session. Shining brilliant and colorful light, she apologized to me, and we were two souls who were complete.
I felt so grateful that I had handled the situation the way I did. It could have gone in a lot of different directions, but instead, my love for myself and responsibility for my shadow transformed so much ugliness into so much healing.
I use this lesson in my traverses through the astral. Every being is longing to be seen, put to use, be accepted and loved. When I approach an entity in this way, healing beyond what we can imagine happens for both client and entity. My longing with my clients, is to help them find that place within themselves, to find the way to their power, love and acceptance. I educate them about what they are dealing with and teach them not only methods of protection and extraction, but the deep rewarding experience of healing based in love.
When I am able to hold a powerful space of unconditional love, the beings have nowhere to attach to, because any negative beliefs that might attract a negative being, are being bathed in love. In those moments, the love is stronger than any shadow belief. And this is the best argument for truly doing your transformational work. The more beliefs and trauma you bring to the light, the more you are able to be confident in the love you naturally are. I think there may always be shadow energy, but it’s about the balance within you, how brave you are to face your shadow, and how much confidence you have in love in the face of conflict and pain.
It is the love within all of us that makes us strong.
This more than anything, prevents further attack, and sets the client off on a profoundly transformational journey. This gives them the belief to transform their difficult surroundings, and this leads them, quite naturally from rocky shores to safe harbors.
(c) CC Treadway 2011. All rights reserved. You may repost article in its entirety, no changes, with a link back to the site. Please let me know if you repost! Thank you.