WHY LETTING GO IS SO SCARY AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
By CC Treadway
A few years ago, I was just about to finish an advanced training of one of my favorite techniques, Theta Healing. The Theta Healing technique is based on simple principles. You shift your consciousness into a theta brain wave, state and with your intention travel to the non-dualistic plane of the Creator Level, the 7th plane, and command a healing. Then Creator does the healing and the practitioner witnesses it. According to Vianna Stibal, the founder of Theta Healing, changes are much more likely to occur when in a theta brain wave. If a healing doesn’t work, you start digging for undermining core beliefs, releasing and replacing them.
The group of 10 or so practitioners at this training was particularly good. We were very cohesive and got along well. At the end of the weekend, a woman with cancer came in for a group healing. She had been working with our teacher, Eric Brummet for a little while to clear belief patterns. But now she was in her last days. Her cancer was so widespread you could see it eating away at her tiny body. She had one lung removed and one barely functioning. The right side of her body had all but collapsed, her breathing was labored and she could barely speak. She had already bought her cremation plot.
My heart went out to her, and I could feel that despite her condition, she was totally open.
When asked if she were ready to receive the healing, she answered with gratitude, “Yes, I am so appreciative of you doing this for me. It means so much. Thank you.”
The group’s intention was solid. Our only job was to hold a state of love in a theta frequency on the 7th plane, and Eric would command that a healing be done on her. We could all feel the intensity of this healing, something special was happening. In the center of the circle, our client completely surrendered. As he commanded the healing, all of us witnessed a clear picture of the cancer energy leaving her. We could feel it in our own cells. After Creator was done healing, which was maybe after a few minutes, she opened her tear filled eyes. Thanking us, she stood up easily for the first time in months. Overwhelmed with emotion she was almost at a loss for words. She told us that she thought the cancer left and that she felt much better. Gratitude overcame her as she continued to thank us profusely. She was breathing, talking and standing with ease. Our hearts were bursting.
A few weeks later, it was confirmed by her doctor that she was cancer free.
We did a few group healings like that, but none had those same results. Why did she get the instant healing and not the others?
We have all heard this word so much it’s a cliché. But it really should be taught with its shady companion, Betrayal!
Surrender and Betrayal go hand and hand, and working with awareness of these complimentary forces can help the ups and downs of it all.
In the early stages of learning surrender we imagine throwing all caution to the wind, letting go and letting God! Many of us approach our toughest challenges in this way, surrendering to the divine plan (so we think) only to have it totally blow up in our faces, time and time again. “But I surrendered, I did exactly the right thing!” Really, a lot of the time that we think we are surrendering, we are actually avoiding responsibility. We aren’t letting go, we just don’t want to deal with the mess we’ve made, and we don’t know how. Within that avoidance is usually deeper issues that are living in our subconscious, shadowed, only to show themselves at critical moments. Somehow you find yourself in the same mess, over and over, betrayed by life again.
A good example of that would be an addict before they enter recovery. Throwing caution to the wind will only lead them right back to their addiction. An addict who is in recovery knows that surrendering to a higher power is part of the healing process. They admit they don’t know how to fix things, but are willing to learn. An addict also knows that for a long time, a complete reprogramming needs to be done sometimes involving extreme control and responsibility. For the over eater, they must control their diet; for the alcoholic they must control where they hang out and who they hang with; for the love addict, they must take control of their emotions and bodies. This intense reprogramming must go on for some time before they are ready to let go a little. The addict is a great example of learning a deeper kind of surrender.
The next phase of surrender is when you throw yourself into the learning process, unafraid to take responsibility. You really do all the right things. You go to therapy or your healer, do all the steps according to the manifesting book you bought, surrender and still, it blows up in your face. This is where a little thing called Karma, Heritage, Family Template, or Early Childhood Wounding can screw you. The energy they hold can be stronger than your positive intention, especially if they are shadowed. These kinds of core issues can take more work than expected to shift. You may think that you have done the work, that you processed your issues, you are cleared of it, and find that just when you think its safe to let go again, BOOM, the unthinkable happens. You are back in debt, your third wife left you, guess what? There was still more to learn. This can be particularly difficult and is often times experienced as a deep betrayal by God and Self. Doubt, anger, resentment and fear linger, and yet also fuel the deeper learning.
Of course there are life events that really blindside you, with no forewarning, like sudden deaths to a child or spouse.
The death of a child from what I have seen, is a pain that a parent will walk with for the rest of their life. With these events, it is possible that your Higher Self and Guide team wanted you to learn something, so you agreed beforehand to allow it. This can really incite anger and the feeling of betrayal, especially since you don’t remember making any such agreement. And so you think, how could it be safe to surrender and let go when that kind of pain is a possibility? The fear reaction here is to begin to control everything to prevent more pain, but that is not an appropriate response for this kind of betrayal. What is called for here is not control, but grieving and letting go.
Many young initiates who have tapped in to Creator’s flow, feeling unbridled joy in their hearts, have unexpected traumatic events happen to mature them into the next level. This “loss of innocence” is the first of many spiritual deaths they will have.
So as you can see Surrender and Betrayal go together. If we know that, than we can in some ways expect that some form of betrayal could happen. However, instead of using this information to fuel our protective control systems, we can use it to go to the underlying vibration of surrender, which is acceptance.
True surrender happens at a very deep and very conscious level.
True surrender usually happens after we’ve been kicked in the ass a lot. It is intimately interwoven with the wisdom you gain through experience. The more you learn about a painful shadow piece within yourself or even within the world, the safer you are to surrender. You have accepted something painful as a part of life, you know and trust yourself more, so it’s not as scary or unfair. It now holds less emotional and energetic charge, therefore, you wont attract it as much. Not only that, it wont be as big of a deal when it does happen.
I once channeled this very powerful meditation during an extraordinary difficult time. I had opened my heart and was betrayed, but I desperately wanted to stay open. I could feel my heart shutting down, broken in pain. I was begging my guides to give me something to ease the pain.
They instructed me to center myself in my heart and opened my heart chakra, front and back. I imagined the two vortexes spinning rosy pink, taking in love. I let the love hit the painful spots in my heart. Then my guides said, “Now imagine an arrow being shot into your heart.” Seriously? But I went ahead with it and noticed that the arrow went right through the space that was created in my open heart, and out the back. Like it was shot through a hollow tube, carrying the current of love. It was so simple. Did it hurt? A little, but not for long.
True surrender happens when our capacity for love is able to hold the pain of betrayal with a deeply trustful relationship with Self and Divine. True surrender, like the kind our healed cancer client had, can be felt in your cells. Who knows the whole process that brought her to that moment, but you can bet it wasn’t easy. True surrender that day meant she would live. On another day it could have been that she transitioned. True surrender brings you so close to the Divine that you can decide to forgive, and choose your life over and over again.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.