Through my energy healing practice I have discovered remarkable effects of cleansing the womb with energy. Women who have been stuck in the past, whether consciously or unconsciously, are able to move forward and experience love and pleasure beyond what they ever knew before. Overcoming old patterns and habits that were created from sexual and relational trauma can be scary, but trust me, it’s not as scary as you think and it is well worth it. 

What many women don’t know is that the womb is a storehouse for energy, emotions and memories. By being consciously engaging in its cleansing,  vitality and sexual pleasure dramatically increase. In doing this we are able to refill with our own sensual essence and vital life force energy on a regular basis. 

There are many things that can happen to clog up a womb energetically! Here are a few major blocks that can occur, and the benefits of energetic womb cleansing.



1. THE ENERGY OF OLD RELATIONSHIPS

It is said in many traditions that the sexual energy of old relationships can remain in the body for 7 years.  If there is a lot of old sexual energy in the womb from past partners it can clog sexual desire, and in fact, prevent other men (or women) from being attracted to you. By clearing the energy, you can re-activate your innate attractors, and make room for your sexual and sensual essence to flow. Your sense of self and self confidence will also increase along with your creativity.


2. CHILDBIRTH

Many women I have worked with had several children, or had difficult labors. This trauma can lock itself in the cells, preventing full pleasure and self expression. There may be an unconscious negative association with the sexual organs as a result. This can shut down excitement for sex, which is very hard on relationships and marriages. Over time, the demands of motherhood can take its toll on a woman’s sexual desire and energy. By restoring the original life force of the womb, a woman can reawaken to that part of herself, and experience sexual pleasure in a new way.


3. ABORTIONS

Abortions can leave portions of energy in the uterus, as well as mixed feelings. While this is a sensitive topic, one thing I can say as an energy healer, is that unresolved emotions from an abortion can alter a woman’s sexuality, hormonal cycle, fertility and ease in sexuality. By clearing the energy and working with unresolved emotions, a woman can be much more free to move forward.


4. IUD's

This subject is also sensitive, and I personally think every woman should choose the method of birth control that works for her. For most, IUD’s are a wonderful solution. If you were to google the side effects of an IUD you wouldn’t find much, and yet woman after woman who get on my healing table are suffering side effects from this method of birth control - including infections. Often times I am able to sense if there was an IUD, even when it has been removed, because the energy imprint is still there, blocking the pleasure flow for a woman, or causing menstrual and reproductive issues. I’m not saying it happens all the time, but it happens enough to be worth mentioning. Listen to your body if it does not like this method.


5. SEXUAL TRAUMA

Unfortunately, sexual trauma is rampant in our society. From rape, to sexual abuse, to simply not being fully on board in sexual activity, sexual trauma creates energy blocks and fear in the uterus and body. The old energy of the abuser can linger in a womb making a woman feel almost completely incapable of moving forward, reliving the trauma on a cellular level. Womb cleansing and energy healing is a powerful way to release the energy of abusers, allowing a woman an experience of pleasure in her own sexuality that she may have never felt before.


6. SEXUAL NEGLECT

Sexual neglect can leave a woman feeling unloved, shut down or simply un-sexual. By cleansing the womb of this patterning, once again, a woman’s natural life force can begin to flow, allowing an entire world of pleasure and creativity to come forth, awakening her to new heights. She may find herself very interested in sex and also becoming very attractive to others!


7. UNLOCKING YOUR PLEASURE & CREATIVITY

As you can see, the main reason to do all this cleansing is to feel your sensual energy and re-awaken pleasure!  The other bonus is the creative energy that starts to flow as women can't help but create in all ways once their womb is alive and glowing again. Life, and all of its ups and downs can cloud this natural feeling of excitement, life force and sensuality, and yet it is your natural state. When this force is flowing, creativity and self confidence awaken.

​To listen to a free womb cleanse meditation click here.

To work with CC in a private session for lingering trauma, click here


(c) CC Treadway, 2014

By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

We all have places where we just cant seem to manifest what we want in the timing that we want it. These are the places that may hold the most karma, the most trauma, the most frustration. But today I wanted to go deeply into a subject of illusion as a trickster substitute for actual physical manifestation.

Confronting Illusion, Becoming the Present

The illusion is a conglomeration of astral energy that as you feed it, grows and gives you the impression that it is nourishing you. It is an unconscious energy mass with its own blood stream, like an astral tumor. It feels like it has a life of its own. It attracts beings and also attracts the astral bodies of those who carry similar shadow energies. It feeds the dark side, which loves it when you allow large amounts of energy to manifest in a negative astral plane. It is created from your fantasies, but garners no tangible results in the physical.  This illusion could be so present in your astral body that psychics, healers and channels get all sorts of reaffirming information to lead you deeper into illusion.

The greatest example of an illusion, would be the fantasy of a romance with someone – especially when that someone isn’t really paying attention to you, but yet she/he is there in your dreams and your visions as if it were all happening. Romantic energy carries sexual and life force energy, so it is very strong.

Another area of strong illusions is with work and career. You can often feel fulfilled by the idea of what you are envisioning, which is usually a massive undertaking, but not able to take the steps to make it happen, and not able to face the fact that what you envision and what you are actually doing are two very different things. And yet still, the energy of the illusion grows ever stronger, convincing you that it is happening somehow.

How can you tell you are in illusion?

•You receive confirming information in dreams and meditations that are different from what is actually happening in reality, and they do not unfold how you desire

•You derive extreme pleasure, even euphoria from fantasies and dreams but do not see results in the physical.

•You are keeping aspects of theses dreams and fantasies secret, especially the parts that tell you it might not be real.

• You secretly feel hopeless in that area of your life

• When someone suggests a practical step to you, you get mad and want to hide your dreams even more.

• You are very controlling in this area of your life and do not trust in the present moment or the flow of life, or the divine when it comes to this area.

Why work with illusion as an astral energy?

Our lack of understanding of the astral as a culture is just too bad. It is a whole realm of life that is affecting us every day, so the more mastery we have with it, the better.

This article is generally written for spiritually dominant people who see life from this perspective, and because spiritual people are deeply fed from energy, making them more susceptible to living in illusion in 3D. When you realize that this dream has a living energy, then you can start dealing with it, and understand why there were all these confusing dreams and visions.

The illusion is created from a real desire, and underneath that a real need that you long to get met, and that perhaps has yet to be met in this lifetime.

As with all parts of you, it is necessary to fully claim this dream and bring it into the physical, back inside the body so you can live it and be happy!!

How is a strong illusion initially created?

A strong, lifetime illusion, is created by impactful events in childhood, and generally reinforced in adulthood.

If you grew up in a family where there wasn’t much communication, where there were a lot of secrets, and a lot of unexpressed emotion, it will all be held in the astral planes. These energies will still be in communication on an astral level. They could be sexual feelings, loving feelings, hateful feelings, angry feelings, all of it. But if they aren’t brought into the physical and communicated they can really start running wild energetically, creating their own reality that deeply affects the subconscious.

Sometimes children have symptoms of sexual abuse without having had any due to strong unexpressed and unprocessed emotions lurking in the astral. Throw in a family energy constellation and the effects can be just as strong as if they did happen. The dreamscape may be very active with confusing images and scenarios.

Perhaps you tried to have a relationship and got hurt too badly, and so retreated even further into the illusion, rather than face that pain again.

This strong astral world feels good in that addictive kind of way. It feels like home. It feels like things are definitely manifesting! Your big vision in work will happen just like that! The guy you are in love with who keeps you stringing along will be your perfect husband, just like that!

These steps of moving the dreams and energy into the physical were never really learned however, and so often times the illusion is shattered when that dream doesn’t manifest, again and again.

Shattering the illusion

The illusion is shattered by admitting the thing you do not want to admit: simply that you are in illusion and you need to get real.   The energy of illusion itself can be a satisfying if we relied on it somehow to get by. It is only when admitting that you need it manifested, that you need it to change, and humbly bowing before your ignorance that the tools can come towards you. This puts you smack in the middle of the unknown, it may feel scary and unsupported, but if you drop into yourself, it will start to feel very, very good.

What are you protecting yourself from?

Illusions are dreams and fantasies that are STUCK in the astral planes, and never manifest. They are created because they were either learned in an environment thick with denial, and/or created out of necessity in an environment that was too harsh and painful.

So there is pain under there, and fear under there, and it is strong. But not so strong that it cannot be faced. Usually you are out of touch with that fear. If you could have easily found the fear, you would have done it a long time ago. The fear might be feeling the original rejection, and present day rejection. This could take you into the fear of being alone, unloved or the fear of being attacked. When these fears are actually experienced in the body with your consciousness, they can energetically and physically start to move.

Everyone is protecting their most vulnerable part, this part of you needs to be found and loved so you can start feeling your needs, and honoring who you really are.

What might the real need of the child be? The real need would be genuine and safe contact and intimacy from the parent, and from others. Deeper than that, would be feeling that inside yourself, because within you lives all of these states of being, they just haven’t been activated. Every state of being you want lives within, because each person is an expression of the divine whole. And sometimes you need to be led into that by someone who knows what they are doing: a trained therapist or healer, a beloved friend or partner.

A funny thing happens when you feel your needs with the intention to heal and shift: You heal and shift. And the world begins to reflect that.

Because shattering the illusion means stepping out of dreamtime and stepping into realtime. And realtime is where the goodies are.

Every time you shatter an illusion, which is held strongly in the astral, you open yourself up for more manifestation in the physical.  That huge conglomerate of stuck energy transforms into your pure essence and returns to your body and soul. This can feel very good if you allow it.

The physical plane is slow sometimes, and may feel uncomfortable, especially when you are learning a new life skill. It might take a lot of trial and error, even as you watch others seemingly do it so easily. It might be scary to slow down and take that next small step, like talk to a new love interest, or take a part time job while you build your big vision. But your authentic relationship to your vulnerability is what makes you exquisitely human, and puts you in direct relationship with the divine.

Your Dreams Are Real

Don’t give up on your dream.  Just because you have been stuck in illusion for too long doesn’t mean you can’t do this. You still deserve to have your dream. So don’t give up. Love yourself even more. Drop into the fear to get to your real need and honor it. Allow your life to progress to the reality that you can’t stop dreaming about no matter how hard you try. You may think it’s too painful to keep dreaming and wanting, but do it anyway. Keep moving forward with humble bravery. Get help if you need. You are here to learn how to do this. Your true, unwavering desire, birthed from the softest part of your heart and soul, will lead you to its manifested reality. 


(c) 2013 CC Treadway, All rights reserved. You may repost if you give a link back to www.treadwayesoteric.com and of course put my name on it!

Never before have I loved and hated life so much. HA! Let’s just be honest. The conscious path is one of true paradox. It doesn’t really make life easier. The conscious path is like any other obsession. It wakes you up in the morning, and keeps you from going to bed at night. The endless self-discovery and need to solve all the mysteries of life is a daunting task, but you feel me. I don’t think I need to go into the planetary activity going on. Don’t get me started on the solar flares.

But we press on in this endless transition we call “the Shift.”

The path of awakening can lead you to the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and if we are lucky, we get to be in the middle a good part of the time. I wouldn’t trade it, would you? Every time I say I’m going to take it easy, the mystery does another layer of unfolding, and the obsession reawakens, and THEN yes, then I know I have figured it out.  And every time, those five minutes are the best five minutes of my life.

It’s like those moments on stage after you have been working on something for weeks, months or even years. Then you are granted this small window of time where it all lines up: your mission, your soul, your heart, your body, your passion, your relationships, your gift. In one moment, they are all together, fully expressed, fully understanding this whole incarnation thing in the eternal now.

These are great moments.

I had one of these moments last Friday night at a warehouse party in Brooklyn, NY. After obsessing all day with nerves, I arrived on stage with my two priestesses, Lauren “DJ Chela” Harkrader and Malia Kulp, to sing, drum, and channel for the young and eager indigo partiers.

This particular night of performing and channeling may have been the easiest, most joyful experience of my life.  In the seedy up and coming neighborhood of Bushwick we brought the light, the love, the angels, the Hathors and the song. I was convinced that every bit of personal work and spiritual evolution I had gone through had led up to that very moment. Ah ha!! That moment was the reason for my very existence. Victory!

Giddy and high from the experience, we took to the streets so that Lauren’s boyfriend Pedro could photograph us:  The Witches of Bushwick.

Some of my favorite DJ’s were on that night, but the brujas were feeling very sensitive and we could not stay at the party. So, we took our crystals, orgone dodecahedrons and sage, and left, leaving the all night dancing to the second wave indigo babies.

I was so exhausted and loopy I didn’t do any of the things I would normally do after a channeling, like seal up my field, stretch, shower, eat or snuggle. And I didn’t really sleep with all that energy running through me. I woke up still high from the channeling and headed to a recording session with magical piano genius, Adam Ahuja. Lost in the river of the song, I thought to myself, “THIS is the moment, THIS one!”  He recorded five takes to add to one of my original tracks, leaving me overwhelmed with gratitude and inspiration. The cup was overflowing.

Ah, the sound engineer rolled his fourth joint and I began to look around. It was a little cloudy in there, not to mention the empty extra large glass bottles of Jack scattered amongst hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment. I thought to myself,

“Here I am wide open, exhausted, practically glowing in the dark…surrounded by pot and alcohol goobers, haven’t I written article about not doing this kind of thing? I’m sure I look like the best meal they’ve ever seen, but no worries, I’m a pro. I’m no longer susceptible to this stuff, now that I have such good boundaries. It’s just plants and grains. After all, I’m on the conscious path.”

By the time I got home I could barely stand up, and went into the heavy, hung over kind of sleep that frankly I’ve only experienced on painkillers. I was way too tired to de-goober, so I just went to bed, figuring that the little monkeys could enjoy my company for a night before I sent them to Creator in the morning.

I woke up and was definitely NOT having one of those fully lucid moments of enlightenment. Oy, as we say in Brooklyn. With so much expansion and no conscious integration, my emotional body snapped. Whaaaaa! I cried it out with one of my besties, naming every unsolvable problem I could think of, and then went to the park and lay down on the Earth, my daily practice. Wouldn’t you know it, in just a few minutes I was able to release all goobers to Creator, release all yucky energy to the Earth and rebalance my field. I stayed out there for several hours in bliss. Good as new, I saw some clients and watched Game of Thrones.

And that was my weekend on the conscious path. How was yours?

In conclusion, there is no conclusion. I didn’t even know what I was going to write about when I started this, so here we are. Let’s all just keep going, let’s keep doing this thing and writing articles that go nowhere. It’s totally amazing, and totally awful. Congratulations for making it to this moment, I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I love you.

(c) CC Treadway 2013, All rights reserved

Dear Spiritual Community,

Soooooo, here we are in the new Baktun. It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is shining and I just finished eating breakfast and paying my bills. Yes my friends, I don’t know if you got the memo, but Money didn’t disappear into the ethers on the solstice.  Credit cards, banks, currency and the stock market are still doing their dance. 

But don’t be sad, because it’s time to take it to the next level. Everyone found out that Money isn’t based on gold a few years ago, so the jig is up! They are printing Money like newspapers and yet inflation is not rising…because who cares right? It’s not based on anything material, so it’s a free for all! This is what the “money people” have known for years.

Whether we like it or not, all of us are still in relationship with Money. And in the year of the water snake, it’s ON.

That’s right spiritual people with big hearts, it’s time for you to be rich. So say goodbye to every negative story you have about Money, because your time has come.

The spiritual community is well known for its disdain of the material, and doomsday predictions, but from everything I am seeing and hearing, in the year of the snake, we are gonna rock it financially. 

But there’s only one way that can happen. We need to make Money the most loving experience of our lives. We need to stop telling every negative story and just go ahead and fall in love with Money.

Eeeeeeeww, I hear you saying, but yes, Money needs our love. Money is tired of doing bad things, it told me.

We have a real opportunity to bring the vibration of Money into love. Think of the possibilities. If the consciousness of Money were based in love, the ENTIRE WORLD would transform. Money would be a force of peace and balance. Behind our backs it would thinking of all the ways it could be loving and adoring of us, it would bend over backwards for our benefit, because that’s what love does. It can’t help itself!

If you want an irrigation system for your perma-perfect backyard or extra cash flow to help empower those in true poverty, then a love drunk Money is just what you need.

I can say that one miracle after another has happened this year with my beloved Money, and that came after a lot of praying, questioning, clearing, working and learning. I went deep to the core of the earth, the heart of the sky and the depth of my being. And then I fell in love, and we (Money and I) started this delicious love affair…but there’s more.

I’ve been in this scene long enough to know that true devotees will not touch anything that is not love. An open hearted awake person will leave money in the dust, will chastise it, throw it away and punish it if it doesn’t feel good. But the spiritual community has too many great visions, ideas and love for the world for them not to flourish. It drives me crazy that all that heart and creativity gets stopped short due to lack of funds.  That just won’t do in the new world.

With money on our sides, there’s nothing we can’t do.

So, it’s time to love money until it becomes a passionate relationship, one you are proud of, and one you hold sacred. You may have to face deep darkness to open to this relationship, or just simply throw in the towel and give into Love.

My friends, there are laws to wealth and love, do you want to play a bigger game? Do you want your heart and money to be as One, in Love, and in community for a better world?

I do. For so many reasons, I really, really do.

Here’s a small exercise. Take this moment to feel deep gratitude for money, feel into the heart of life and how it wants to give to you, and let money go right into that feeling. Shake off any negative feelings or reactions and re-commit to loving. Believe that you are ready and deserve it all.

Love,

CC and Money


(c) CC Treadway 2013. All rights reserved.

 I think we all put a lot of pressure on the Dec 21, 2012. But, nevertheless, I decided to dive into the wave of making sure the 21st was the best day of my 3D existence, preparing myself for aliens and angels to penetrate the veil with all their trumpets and what not. 

2012, while one of the best years of my life, was a gauntlet of challenge, growth and surrender, so why should the solstice be any different?

And so, earlier in the year, I signed up for a pilgrimage through Guatemala with 200 people from all over this world, and about 40 elders from different traditions, including some hard core Mayans. The finale was to be a ceremony at the Temple One Pyramid of Tikal, Peten. I had my doubts from the beginning about the trip, primarily because the group I was going with was part of a spiritual tradition I don’t really resonate with and it just felt off for me. But for some reason I was invited to go, and for some reason I decided to go.

Through the doubts, there was also that calm feeling inside that comes with knowing there are some circumstances in life you can't control, that we always attract the vibration we are putting out, and I honestly don't know what else I would have done, because when I tried to get out of the trip several months before, I was not able to get my money back.

Years ago, I traveled with Drunvalo and Don Alejandro through the Mayalands, the trip he wrote about in Ouroboros. That trip was the best sacred journey of my life, highlighted by a double rainbow that surrounded our plane from Guatemala City to Tikal and culminating in one of the biggest healings of my life. Traveling with Drunvalo was always magical, no matter what we were doing, but that trip was the ultimate for me, and I have true soft spot for Guatemala, the Mayans, the jungle and the culture around Lake Atitlan.

So, f**k it, I thought, I'm going to Guatemala with a bunch of people I don't know, who practice an esoteric system I don't resonate with because I would rather be there than in New York wondering if I should have gone. (Disclaimer: this spiritual system is profound and beautiful, just not for me.)

From the second we landed in Guatemala City I knew my instincts were right, there would be no double rainbows around private planes. After waiting for almost two hours for a bus that never showed, a few of us jumped into a taxi to our hotel which was situated close to the old plaza, but also in one of the more dangerous areas of the city.

I am a seasoned traveler in Latin America, having lived in Ecuador as a teenager, and having spent a lot of time in Central and South America as an adult. Anyone who travels to Guatemala knows, you do not linger in Guatemala City. But apparently on this trip we were to spend half of it in this dangerous area. You have to figure that there is a reason for everything, but I was never really given one.

Some people said our light was needed, the first of many “spiritual” answers I got for very impractical and dangerous situations. That night one person was mugged, and another had her earrings torn out of her ears.  Let us not ever think because we are spiritual we are not in the world, dealing with the same stuff that everyone else deals with as human beings.

What was interesting is that the two other times I traveled to Guatemala I never felt unsafe for a second, I didn’t even know the country was one of the more dangerous places to be because of the protected way we traveled….and the rainbows.

This trip was like wearing an outfit that didn't fit for a week, which, if you really think about it, is a powerful experience. In that outfit I was given the task to remember who I was, and to love myself, even if I was different. I stared Heyoka in the face and said, “OK bro, bring it on.” For me, this was, a journey of self-love, as all great teachings are.


CEREMONY 1, Kaminaljuyú

On our first morning, we awoke and got to prayin' at the first Mayan city, Kaminaljuyú. I felt the magic. The energy was powerful and I was receiving download after download of amazing material for my courses for the year. Tata (Mayan medicine man) filled the circle with love, as he pronounced that he was not indigenous, or ethnic, we could no longer use those words. They separated us. He was Mayan, and we were all family. People from all over the world spoke and prayed in the circle. In traditional Mayan form, we prayed into small candles of many colors and threw them into the fire. BURN!  The copal, pounds of copal, filled the altar circle, and the flames got hot and smelled amazing. Our pain, our prayers for humanity, were all burned and sent to spirit.

Five hours later, with only one elder collapsing, we got on the bus to go eat. After standing in line for an hour, they ran out of food. An hour after that, they gave the remaining 40 people who hadn’t eaten a little bit of salad.  Delicious. There was lots of spiritual suck it up talk. In a stroke of genius, I had packed a box of powerbars, which I would find, saved my life just about every day.

After that, we drove to a beautiful spot for a sweatlodge, which was shut down after just one round due to the buses having nowhere safe to park. I think we were all relieved.
 


HEALING THE PAST

I couldn’t help but compare this very intense week to the year I spent in a uniform in Catholic school in Cuenca, Ecuador when I was 14-- very much against my will. To say I went kicking and screaming would be an understatement.



The agitated feeling of Latin American city life with it's church bells all morning long, constant inhalation of diesel, getting hit on by every single man that sees you and bombardment of child salespeople can be overwhelming, especially as a teenager. When you are blonde and towering over everyone, you kinda stick out. As a New Yorker I know what to do in a city, but it’s different ballgame in Latin America. Whatever level of awareness you have in New York, it’s multiplied by at least 10 in these cities.

The hardest part of that year was the emotional terror of being isolated from my community (it was 1988 there was no internet and phones barely worked down there), the separation from my father who stayed in New York, and the heartbreak of my mother. My parents were divorcing, our family life had crumbled, and I was in the middle of nowhere. It was a year of extreme emotional difficulty that imprinted on my hormonal system at the onset of puberty. Throw in culture shock, Catholic school and a language barrier and you have a Molotov cocktail for teenage angst.

It was THE major defining point of my development as a human being, and it can creep up on me at very inconvenient times to teach me where I need to grow.

After two nights in the city, we got on our five buses and went to Quetzaltenango, the second biggest shit-hole in Guatemala. Now, I had been to all these places before, so when they said Guatemala City, and then Quetzaltenango, I actually just didn't believe them, because who would do that if people paid real money to come on this trip? It's like when my parent's told me we were moving to Ecuador so I could learn Spanish. “Haha! Good one!” Because who would do that?

Heyoka, that's who!

Here I was in Guatemala, almost 30 years later and I started to go into a panic. I was stuck in Latin America in an overcrowded hotel lobby, the organizers had lost their minds, whoever they were, everyone I loved was back home and I was being asked to pray, ALL THE TIME. The uniform was back on. And I couldn’t get out. There was nowhere to go.

“What am I doing here, what is the point?” These questions were on repeat in my head as I jumped timelines. We waited for nearly three hours to check into the hotel. I started shaking, and melted down in the arms of my dear friend Shola, the painful emotions of being trapped in Latin America against my will started to move through my energy field. With nowhere to run, and no parent to get mad at, the only place I could go was into my true feelings.

I was so grateful because Shola knows me well, and just let me cry until I was done without judgment, and with full faith in my healing process. Love, hugs and understanding are always enough, spirit takes care of the rest. The pain and terror worked its way out of my emotional body, another layer released, my frustration and anger dissolved. 

I slept like a baby that night…for the four hours they let us sleep. 
 

CEREMONY 2, Takalik Abaj

I felt calm and peaceful (and hungry) as we entered into the sacred Mayan site, Takalik Abaj, an hour or so outside of Quetzaltenango. Our breakfasts had been given away to some people (that’s as much as I know) so we were fasting. There the Mayans were waiting for us to enter ceremony with them. We learned about the Mayan calendar, and they used their mega phone so we all could hear. This ceremony was serious.

I was on my cycle so, to be honest, I couldn't even be near the fire. I sat in meditation on the outside of the circle, on the ground to be with the Mother.  This was heaven to me, as I was able to take in the beautiful surroundings and make contact with the Earth. The ceremony went on for I don't know, six hours. 

At one point I entered the circle to bring in the energy of my tradition. The energy was so strong. These Mayans could pray like nobody’s business, and all of the elders of this group were extraordinary. I felt great actually, even though I had no food and barely slept. But it took about two minutes before my lip unexplainably started to bleed. I ran out of the circle back to my bag to grab some tissue.


A river of unstoppable blood was pouring out of my lip. It looked like an old injury from childhood had mysteriously re-opened. I’ve been on a lot of sacred trips, and truth be told, I am usually the person that has something physically weird happen to them. It’s par for the course. I’m very empathic.

Shola, jazzed by the ceremonial energy and the power of the fire, went into medicine woman mode, and quickly returned to me with the leaves from the black pepper tree, to cauterize the wound. Then, a kind doctor appeared and told me to put pressure on it. As I sat there, a large, white spider skeleton fell on me. Shola got very excited and ran to Tata, asking him what it meant! He said, “white spider brings emotional stability in relationships and protection!” SCORE!

She brought candles to me, and I prayed into them, and she brought them to the fire with the spider, BURN! The fire went crazy as the women danced around it, it became like a controlled serpent, dancing with the women. These ladies were powerhouses, welcome to the New World!

We returned to our beloved Guatemala City that night for dinner, and were greeted by nice gentlemen with machine guns at the restaurant. While standing on the dinner line, my lip exploded again.  This time the kind doctor had more time with me and was able to explain what was going on. There was a broken vein and I should probably get surgery, but for now just keep putting pressure on it for 30 minutes and I should be fine.  Cool. After dinner, we went back to the same hotel in the same dangerous neighborhood, and had to re-check in to different rooms, and the whole process had to happen again. 240 exhausted people trying to get rooms, one by one, passport by passport.

After a few hours of sleep, we woke up to Dec 20th and hopped on the buses for our 10 hr drive to the jungle. As we collectively threw out our boxed breakfasts of Wonderbread with butter and American cheese (prison food, as one student called it), I gratefully chowed on my powerbar. The bus ride was fun, filled with songs and laughter and even a little bit of sleeping.

CEREMONY 3, Quiriguá

On our way to Flores, the town closest to Tikal, we stopped at the ancient city of Quiriguá for ceremony. This one was only two hours long and included Aztec dancing and a pipe ceremony. It was really beautiful. While consciously I didn’t always know what was going on during these ceremonies, I could feel our karma being burned out on all levels. These ceremonies work deep on the ancestral levels. The elders didn’t miss a beat with their dedication, and the group was focused and devoted.  I felt a lot of gratitude for everyone, despite the organizational debacle that was every other moment.

On our way out, the band of starving pilgrims noticed that there were several local food vendors. Was it a mirage? There were fresh tortillas, beans, avocados and juices! The group ate and ate. I bought extra empanadas for my secret food stash.

Right after the whole group stuffed themselves, we drove a little further to a beautiful spot right on a lake in a four star hotel…for dinner.

We were then informed, through the grapevine, that we would not be stopping in Flores to go to our hotels and rest, but we would go immediately to Tikal (about three hours away), and wait in the bus for hours instead to enter the park at three AM - and from this point on we would be fasting again. We needed to pack a small bag for Tikal because we would be in ceremony inside the pyramid for an undetermined amount of time, perhaps for more than a day. I allowed myself a small freak out, and then just laughed as I packed my bag, knowing Great Spirit would be taking care of me, and that I would get a good article out of this.

I tried unsuccessfully to sleep on the bus. I suppose there was some nervous anticipation for this grand event.  I also was hoping to meet up with my two dear brothers (spiritual family, affectionately called “the bros”) who had ninjad their way to Tikal on public buses from Mexico and Costa Rica so we could all be together for the 21st. In fact, I was really most excited about seeing them because one look at them and I would be home.

CEREMONY 4, Tikal:

 

We arrived at Tikal, ready for spiritual action. My heart was beating fast. We walked into the park in silence, women on the left, men on the right. It was pitch black, and I felt the sacred energies flowing through our dedicated group. After 20 minutes we arrived at the great plaza. I was looking for the bros, but what I saw was what looked like a party on the lawn. There were red lights shining on Temple One, the largest pyramid. Marimbas were playing, alcohol was being served, trash was on the ground, generators had been brought in, and tents were everywhere. We kept walking. We were supposed to go into the pyramid, we had an appointment and everything! But we kept walking, slowly.

While everyone was partying, we were taking ourselves very seriously. We stood out like sore thumbs as all 240 of us walked in procession to our unknown destination. I thought for sure the bros would see us, but they were nowhere to be found. I was a little crestfallen.

Another 20 minutes of walking slowly and we arrived at our destination in the Lost Worlds, the oldest part of the park with very pristine energy. We gathered in a circle around a Mayan altar and began a fire ceremony.

This was it. It was December 21st, 2012. It had been one of the craziest weeks of my life, where I completely surrendered my personal will and stayed in connection with myself. I thought I had done an amazing job. I was going to make this ceremony count. As I sat down, I was ready for anything. We called in the directions. I sat down to pray with the best intentions, but instead completely passed out on the ground!

Three hours later I was awakened by a Mayan stepping on me, who was not a part of our group. He was frantically looking for something. I realized I had been sleeping and the sun was about to rise. The ceremony was still in full force, but where were my friends? I had to find them!

I started walking, and went to the top of a nearby temple and sat in meditation. I wanted a chance to feel, I was so tired and I wanted to be held. I wanted my bros, my family. I wanted to feel our group heart. I felt gratitude that I even had such a thing. I knew that I would find them, I just needed the space to feel.

At that point the Mayan that stepped on me came over. I asked him if he found what he was looking for.

He replied, “What I am looking for are people who still believe. People who know that a new world is here, that love is the way. I am looking for people who understand that the Maya did not disappear, but we are alive. I am looking for people who see through the illusion.”

I replied, “I understand.”

“Here is the place where medicine men have done their prayers for thousands of years, where you are sitting. And so I have found what I am looking for.”

Then he walked away.

I was grateful for this one moment of sacred magic I experienced during the one moment I had alone all week. I finished my prayers and returned to the ceremonial circle. When I looked to the right, my bro Truth was standing next to me. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life.  We hugged and laughed and took a walk so we could swap stories and find Apollo, my other bro-loved. Apollo had gotten lost a few hours earlier, so we used our hearts to find him.

We found him at the great plaza, surrounded by marimba music and dance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone happier to see me! We all hugged for a long time. Then we went to the top of another temple and shared stories while we ate my empanadas. The uniform started coming off.

Apollo was in shock from coming all this way from Costa Rica to arrive at a party at the plaza. The scene there was nothing like what we had talked about. We wanted to be in this ecstatic, meditative bliss where we felt the veils lift and the angels sing in international and multidimensional communion, but people were drunk! 

EL COJO

Instead of the upper worlds coming down in a crash to enlighten us, the lower worlds came up and partied! They say Temple 1 is the gateway to the underworld, it might be true. We found out later that the president of Guatemala had decided to throw a party at the last minute! He knew full well why people from all over the world were going there and changed the game. Well played Presidente Otto Perez Molina, well played.

This was one of the biggest Cosmic Jokes, or COJOs, we had ever experienced. I’m not sure we were ready to laugh quite yet.  I knew, sitting there on top of this ancient temple, feeling a little torn apart and beaten down, that it was all perfect. Because here we were being with all of it: the desire and connection to spirit, the reality of humanity, and the love in our hearts for each other.

We rejoined the group, and after several more hours, loaded up the buses to go to Flores. The bros took a public bus and got there in 40 minutes. I took the group bus and arrived three hours later. Our wonderful and patient bus driver dropped me in the little island town of Flores having no idea where my hotel was. I asked four people and got four different answers that all led to nowhere.

It was getting dark, I was in the middle of this town with my bags having no idea where to go.  Once again I needed to find my bros.  I went into my heart and started walking. At that moment they were doing the same thing. We practically walked right into each to each other. They told me they found out my hotel was in the neighboring town, aka, the ghetto, which we had driven through on the way there.

No way was I going there, and who knows if it was actually there anyway. The uniform was off, and I had had enough. The bros told me there were no rooms available in all of Flores. Bullshit. I walked into a hotel and got a room immediately for 12 dollars. We went out to dinner and our dear Shola walked by. I asked her to tell the New York leaders that I would be with the bros from now on, we only had one more night anyway. I would have told them myself but I had no idea where they were.

After the best night of sleep of my entire life, we took a bus back down to Guatemala City. On those ten wild hours on the overstuffed, public Guatemalan bus, we shared everything and started laughing, admitting we were being hazed, initiated, and most definitely we would be better people because of it.

When we arrived in Guatemala City, we were very close to the group’s hotel, I shuddered as I looked around at the neighborhood. The taxi driver told us it wasn’t safe for us to be there and drove us an hour away to magical Antigua, where he personally found us a great hotel for practically nothing. We had picked up some amazing, angelic brothers on the bus ride so they were with us too. 

SAN MARCOS, LAKE ATITLAN

I still had another week in Guatemala in the spiritual community of San Marcos on Lake Atitlan, Apollo was coming with me, and Truth would be in Panajachel across the lake, working to set up for a music festival. After a wonderful morning in Antigua we took the bus to San Marcos, three hours away.

I heard later that the New York leaders were unhappy with me, and this was very painful for me as I felt I wasn’t being taken care of and did the best for myself. Maybe this went against their code of conduct, but it became the theme of what I worked on for the week: How can I love myself through my choices of self-care, even if I let others down? I had never walked off a trip before, and I have to say, as an adult, it was extremely empowering to do so. As a teenager I didn’t have that power. I changed the game and it felt good.

From that point forward, I was in integration mode. I worked with an amazing psycho-spiritual counselor named Keith, the Cacao Shaman, who leads cacao ceremonies with therapeutic group process work, much like I did in my training. It was amazing, the deepest work of the whole trip. I am still receiving benefits from what I got from his ceremony and learning to love myself more. The world, culture, family, and spiritual traditions can all teach you that your physical needs are unimportant. I disagree. Safety, practicality, sleep, and healthy food whenever possible, are all very important.

Of course, even though I booked a week alone in San Marcos, I ended up there with Apollo, and 30 or so members of the group who found their way there as well. In the new world, we don’t do things alone! We all had a good time laughing and decompressing.

GOOD BYE GUATEMAYA

I had a beautiful week in San Marcos, and I couldn’t have been more excited to get home to my beautiful life in New York. I returned to a peaceful, quiet, snowy landscape as my close friends and I shared the Gregorian New Year by the woodstove in Woodstock, NY.

I was so grateful for the work that was done on our behalf by the elders as well as the focused dedication of the group. 2012 seemed like a distant memory as so much density was burned out through the fires, leaving us free and clear to live our passions. The Mayans and elders left us with a message. They told us that we have the keys to the new ceremonies, to keep doing what we are doing. Everything was new, and to trust ourselves.  These elders were truly the best.

2013 so far feels integrated and grounded, not at all what I thought. I feel more present than ever, more excited than ever and more able to be in life, with all its ups and downs, than ever. As I talk to many they are feeling the same way. Living in our hearts at the beginning of this baktun means being able to experience the upper and lower worlds in harmony in the center of our being, to make sure we laugh, and to love each other through it all. 

(c) CC Treadway, 2013. All rights reserved.

By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

Planet Earth is going through extraordinary amounts of change. As the light reveals our shadows with such persistence, disembodied astral energy is released. This energy can present itself as entities, or disembodied spirits that attach themselves to humans. But, don’t be scared, it is also a time where you can release these energies easily and send them home.  Most of the time they are very happy to leave the chaos.

What exactly is an “entity?” I define entities as energetic conglomerations vibrating at a level of negativity not optimal for human functionality. I also refer to them as critters, creepy crawlies, goobers, disincarnate spirits, cutie-pies and invisible enemies. They can range from almost harmless to deadly.  Some are simply misplaced or lost and are grateful to be sent home. Others have an agenda of negativity that requires more skill to remove. In the world of healing, ceremony and light work it is essential that you be well versed and prepared for these energies. My colleague, Kelly Rose Zuvuya of ZuvuyaHeals.com, puts is beautifully:

An entity appears to need a physical body to fulfill a sense of safety. Since its consciousness exists in separation from the Divine, its energy is of extreme terror and believes that inhabiting (and sometimes controlling) a human body is its only option for survival. As healers we give the entity another option: to find safety in its reunion with the unconditional love of the Divine Source from which we came and to return to the light of its infinite existence.

While the idea of being possessed or inhabited with an entity is scary, in truth we need to keep in mind Kelly Rose’s words. This helps raise the vibration to a level of love, supporting its reunion with the Divine Source, its journey back home. If you go into anger or separation yourself as the healer, you will probably its next home. Sometimes energies do not want to go to the Divine Source, but they will go back to the dimension from which they came.

I’ve found this issue of entities to be complex. It is easy to place too much emphasis on them and say, “My entity made me do it.” It is also easy to dismiss them entirely with the idea that you wont be affected. Just stay in the vibration of love and you will not attract them. Well, this is true, but how many of us are vibrating at the level of love at all time? If you are a human being, there should be very few if any! You may be unaware of a wounding that can attract these astral energies. It is much better to be educated, than to use denial as a form of protection

WHY AND HOW DO ENTITIES ATTACH?

Entities need energy to survive on the lower astral planes and human beings are a great source of denser energy, keeping them as grounded and embodied as possible.  Since they have consciousness, they also have purpose and look for bodies to express that purpose. They are able to attach to them through holes in the auric field as well as vibrational resonance. Vibrational resonance means that there is an aspect of your conscious that is in alignment with the entity’s consciousness. Through the Law of Attraction, the entity can attach to you. So if you are vibrating a lot of fear or anger, you will be more vulnerable because this is generally what feeds them. They also love the light, if they secretly long to go home, but it is harder to attach because the vibration is too quick for them. However if you have a lot of light, and you also have significant woundings vibrating at a lower rate, you are a main course and desert.  For those who are open psychically, or people who are using drugs and/or are or have been exposed to abuse, you are particularly vulnerable because your field could have this configuration, as well as have many holes.  Channeling and healing is less like a few holes and more like an open door, so you want to make sure you a good peek hole, or someone you trust to answer the doorbell. Entities can travel through lifetimes with you, so it’s a good idea to get checked at least once a lifetime.

How can you tell when you have been infiltrated? Sometimes that is tricky, and it is only over time that you are able to distinguish the change. Common symptoms are:

•Unexplained, persistent anger
•Trouble sleeping
•Nightmares
•Illness that does not get better
•Persistent fatigue
•Migraines
•Feelings of “not being yourself”
•Loss of motivation for your life goals- feeling like, “What’s the point?”
•Hearing voices, or seeing a recurring image of the energy
 
If you know someone who seems to be acting differently, not like themselves, more negative and you can no longer connect with them, it may be that they have been taken over by an entity. This is different from a walk in. A walk in is an agreement between two souls for the evolution of those two souls.  Entity attachment, while it may serve your growth process, is not a “formal” agreement, but an unconscious agreement that can be easily reversed through healing, working your process and extraction. We go into this deeply in the course I teach, Psychic Empowerment.

Gossiping, back-stabbing, negatively projecting and victimizing are forms of psychic attack.  You are sending energy conglomerations of attack to another, and you are also vibrating at a high level of negativity, harming yourself. Genuinely processing your anger, pain and shadow pieces with the intention of healing is not psychic attack.  However it is important to do it in a safe container of healing, preferably with someone who is trained in supporting that process.

There are a few vulnerable areas for attachment worth mentioning. Especially susceptible areas are the second and third chakras and the back of your neck.  One time, I accidentally took on an entity from a client after he had processed a great deal of anger. I was very tired with a sinus infection that day and hadn’t had enough time to properly set up protection for the room, nor was I looking for an entity.  I’m sure my auric field was full of openings and it just jumped in, having nowhere else to go, when he unexpectedly released it.  I experienced the entity entering my field as chills that ran through my body. These were not the fun, high vibrating chills, but the slower, lower ones- although they didn’t feel bad. It can be difficult to distinguish the difference, but there is one. I thought to myself, “Ooops.” 

Over the next several days I became weaker and weaker.  My anger levels began rising. Before I would fall asleep I could clearly see the image of the energy, which was an old wizard like being who was very angry at humanity. Sleep was restless and unsatisfying. By the time I got to my healer’s table, I was practically crawling I was so tired. This invisible enemy was literally sucking the life out of my third chakra, and would have inevitably led to a chronic fatigue illness. There was very little, if any vibrational resonance, and my healer effortlessly sent him home…away from humanity, and I instantly began to feel better.

Entities can also attach into your nervous system through your spine, and linger there for years, activating themselves much like a virus when you are weak, or vibrating at their level. This is a real energy drain and creates anxiety. I always check the spine of a client to make sure he or she is all clear.

I have also found a lot of astral beings residing in the heart.  Many times these little goobers are unconsciously called in to protect a broken heart and will only leave if they are assured that the person will be cared for properly. They have strong sense of purpose and, taking their job seriously and mean no harm, but they are not vibrating at a level of love, they are vibrating with fear.  For optimal growth, these beings must be removed so the healing process can begin.  If they won’t budge, it means the client must do some deeper healing work to be ready to let go of the protection.

Many well-known celebrities contract entities. Those who have been exposed to personal trauma, abuse and drugs, while having millions of people psychically attack them on a daily basis don’t really have a fighting chance. You can see that they are no longer themselves, massive soul pieces have left them and they are headed on a road to destruction with no sense of self to fall back on. Removing the critters wouldn’t be the only thing necessary to mend those wounds, but it would be a great start.

PREVENTION AND PROTECTION

As with any type of affliction, prevention is the best medicine.  Empowered love is your strongest tool. Developing your wisdom at the same rate as your ability to hold unconditional love gives you the sophistication you need to open to multiple dimensions. Your wisdom is your road map; your love is your adventurer.

The most important concepts to remember when you are opening up to energy from other dimensions are love, intentionality, sacred space and structural protection.  The calling in of the four directions is a process of creating a strong, spiritual structure and boundary, supported by the forces of nature for you to surrender and relax into. This allows safety in the opening.  I was lazy about this in the beginning of my practice. I had to learn the importance of maintaining the highest vibration and structure in my healing space the hard way, by getting bitten a few times.  Placing sacred geometrical structures, built from a foundation of love, such as the octahedron, around you and the room is a great way to use structure. My healing room is “gridded” with sacred geometry on every surface. I’m not talking about building these structures physically, although you can, I am talking about creating them in spiritual space with your intention and your love. Taking the time to properly open and close spiritual space, to cleanse your environment with time tested techniques like smudging with sage or toning and having an ongoing spiritual practice are your best preventative strategies.

Taking this concept further, it is most important to keep your physical body vibrant, strong and healthy. Remember, you have more power in the physical dimension than any disincarnate spirit or negative energy. The more authentic power you feel within your physical structure, the more it will not house anything else but you. Exercise that works with your nervous system and spirit like yoga, martial arts and other Eastern-based systems are best. The body has wisdom. Its DNA codes are meant to be with your soul, your energy, and if you take care of it properly, your soul and body will have a mutually exclusive relationship. Monogamy takes work, but its rewards are a solid unit of safety, structure, flow and purpose. Now, you can have friends over, like high-level guides, but by invitation only! You can recognize these beings by their high vibration of love, wise guidance, and commitment to your highest growth.  They respect your boundaries and want the best for you. If these principles are not reflected in your human relationships, chances are they are not reflected in your spiritual relationships either.
 
DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE

There are many who will disagree with my opinions on this subject, but I’m OK with that. My experience with drugs and alcohol is limited and in the past, mostly because I was so open in those days that it took very little to be astral food for night critters and the dearly departed. My third eye opened wide from the drugs and unsupervised psychic exploration and I was able to see everything. I could hear voices in my ear-calling my name- much like a radio dial switching stations when I was falling asleep. It was unpleasant.  I was too afraid to go to horror movies, much less have to see and hear them in real life, so I took up yoga instead.  I can always tell when a client has been using drugs because I have to do so much more repair work and clearing in the auric field and there are always entities. Kuthumi, channeled through Michelle Ellof from the Lightweaver.org states:

“Many have said using mind altering drugs, when you know what you are doing, is safe. No it's not, especially if there are still traumas locked in your body. If you still have deep wounds, you are running the risk of opening yourself up to something that you may not know how to deal with… even if there are facilitators holding you in the space. You open yourself to the astral world where things exist that you cannot even comprehend. The reason they exist is because humanity has brought it into existence through negativity and fear, and each of them build upon themselves.  So, being in an environment where there is a lot of alcohol consumption and drug abuse, means not only are you partying with your friends but with a couple of invisible buddies too! And who’s to say what's on their menu?!”
 
Ceremonial medicine, in my opinion, has great value in spiritual growth, but it does attract and use entities as part of that process.  I think it is harder to integrate these experiences in the modern world, but it’s really an individual choice. I have seen some of the largest and most powerful entities attached to those who do these ceremonies and then quickly return to modern life. I would advise setting aside a lot of time afterwards to integrate in nature first.

ENTITY REMOVAL

While it is possible to remove entities yourself, it requires some training, confidence and skill. Sometimes it’s best to have a professional do it. There are many ways to remove entities, but they all follow the same principles.

Simply put, after putting up all your protection and getting into a space of love, you tap into the vibration of the attached entity by finding the wounded place/distorted belief that the person holds. The healer goes into an altered space and meets the entity, many times dialoguing with respect to that being’s purpose and free will. The removal most often becomes a voluntary process as you offer it a better option. After the entity is extracted, it is sent back home or to the light, usually assisted by guides and angels. Archangel Michael is a good bet. The person must then continue their healing process and bring more of their own energy into their system so they no longer carry the vibration that attracted that entity. Many times as soon as the entity is released the person automatically refills his or herself and heals. The energy is really ready to leave because the belief had probably already been shifting.

Indigenous healers most often use the help of extraction crystals or other physical objects. As Kelly Rose Zuvuya mentioned, the entity feels safe within a physical body, so placing the energy inside of an object can be an easier and safer transition into wherever it needs to go. Sometimes they don’t want to go to the Divine, they would rather go back to their world, and back to their families. Soul retrieval is an excellent way to find the wounded place and bring in the clients energy.

In the case of my client who “passed the angry entity” to me, there was no extraction, the entity just jumped bodies, but the healing principles were the same. He faced his rage, came into his power, shifted his vibration, then released an entity just by that process, and a life long feeling of overpowering rage left him. He still gets angry from time to time, but it’s a healthy, manageable level.  Situations like these are hazards of the job for a healer, but 99 percent of the time they are easily preventable. I shouldn’t have done the healing from an exhausted, sick place. Lesson learned.

Sometimes disincarnate souls are not attached to a person, but a property. One time I was doing a space clearing, and the soul of the previous owner was still attached to the property. She had killed herself and was lingering, filled with guilt. When I connected into her, she didn’t feel she deserved to be with God, that she had betrayed Him (these were her words.) Through the process of Theta Healing, I was able to download to her the feeling of being forgiven by God, of being loved by God, and of being wanted by God. Once this process unfolded, her vibration shifted, she thanked me and left as fast as she could.

While I wont go into possession, curses and black magic in this article, they follow the same principles, requiring more skill and energy to remove.

THE GIFT

With all this exposure to entities, I think what I am left with is a deeper appreciation for the human body. It’s in high demand! It is a powerful partner in life and deserves to be taken care of properly. When my body is attended to and strong, my boundaries are clear and nobody messes with me. I also am touched by the sincerity of many of these energies, their longing to be with God is the same as my own, and their willingness to receive help surpasses most humans. The goal of healing is not to remove an entity, but to further experience our divine, infinite selves. To me, offering an entity the chance to go home, is the same as offering an unhealed, separated aspect of our consciousness the opportunity to go home, to return to our Divine Source, the Infinite Center.
 
Related Telecourse: Psychic Empowerment

By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

As we collectively enter into the feminine, I am struck by my own experience that has led me to understand, and understand deeply, what this means.

Recently, after arguably one of the hottest weeks in NYC, I drove up to the Catskills to stay with an old friend and her family. I had not seen this friend in almost twenty years, but she and her family are more significant in my life than I could possibly convey in words.  This family, the Wilkinsons, made me a part of their family when my own family life had fallen apart.

I met Heather when I was 12 at an Episcopal church inter-county sleepover. I recognized her as a fellow gymnast immediately by the way she walked, so of course we had to be friends.

In those early years, I would go over to the Wilkinson’s house in Pelham, New York, and be greeted by two enormous dogs, a cat, her brother, and her parents, who would promptly put me to work. This work included walking the dogs, taking out the garbage, walking to the grocery store in the dead of winter, setting the table, etc.

The Wilkinsons lived in a grand old Victorian, 4 stories high with 8 bedrooms. The house was heated only by woodstoves. Heather’s father, John, preferred woodstove heat, and was uncompromising in this preference, no matter how cold it was. Hats and gloves were frequently worn if necessary. John, a hotshot lawyer in NYC, had a lot of hobbies: fly fishing, camping, skiing, really anything that had to do with nature. He and his wife Mia, a pro-gardener and teacher, held fast to old values that were all but disappearing.  Pre-boomers from New England don’t mess around.  Their work ethic and consistency is a force to be reckoned with. I got it, I loved it, and I paid close attention.

To me, each time I entered the Wilkinson’s house was like going to paradise. My own house, just a few towns away, was going through a lot at that time.  My parents did not get along and were beginning what would become the longest divorce process known to man.  At the Wilkinson’s I was part of a functioning team that had a purpose.  I gladly participated.

I’m imagining they understood exactly the role they played for me. I was Heather’s favorite friend, and so I was informally adopted.  My parents, always up for an adventure, were thrilled that I was being treated so well and shown so many new things.

The Wilkinsons took me on all their family vacations. We went horse back riding in Jackson, Wyoming, camping and fishing in upstate New York, swimming in Delray Beach, FL, and skiing in Okemo,VT. Every year they took me to their college reunions in Williamstown, MA, and they even took me along to visit with their best friends in New Hampshire. As a family, we would watch the Olympics together, getting into every nuance of the gymnasts, dissecting the ice skaters, and passionately cheering on the skiers. They brought me along everywhere as one of their daughters, and delighted in my personality and my quirks. No one ever yelled at each other and “flaws” were seen as something to chuckle about.

Eventually they bought a second home in the Catskills with even more woodstoves, skiing, dogs and sitting around the fire with drinks, all getting along. I went up there as often as possible.

THE FANTASY FAMILY IMAGE

Throughout these 6 years from age 12 until I graduated from High School at 18, I was shown a way of life that held and supported me through tough times. My parents finally divorced when I was 18, and in my head, the Wilkinsons were the model I used for the family life I was determined to have as an adult. I thought that I had kept my admiration for them to myself, but in this most recent trip to the Catskills, Heather told me I wrote, “Because of you and your family, I now know what family actually is,” in her senior yearbook.

After high school, Heather went to Williams college and I went to the Rhode Island School of Design. Heather became a doctor. I became a filmmaker, dancer and healer of sorts who dated the wrong guys. Heather got proposal after proposal from stable men. We fell out of touch.

I remember feeling in my 20’s like I just wasn’t good enough to hang out with the Wilkinsons anymore. I didn’t want to bring my darkness into their light. I felt ashamed that I was so all over the place, that once again the last guy I dated blew me off after he slept with me, that the guy I was seeing now had 2 other girlfriends, and I had 3 other boyfriends outside of him just to be safe. I truly didn’t feel I deserved any better, and I couldn’t bear to feel my own deeper needs.

All the while the myth of my ideal family life I was going to have remained strong in my head. I could see the house in the Catskills, the garden, and the functioning family unit as we did lots of outdoorsy activities.

As I danced, worked at MTV, went to healing school, dated countless men and moved countless times, I knew that someday I would have that stable life. I held onto it like the rock of Gibraltar. My feelings of shame and sadness around my inner broken home were still so strong. So, the contrast between how I actually felt and my fantasy family image was a tough gap to bridge. All the while I was dreaming up this perfect movie, I developed myself as a person, dedicating myself to my spiritual path. I became a successful video editor and later a self-employed healer.  I began helping a lot of people, writing music, and traveling. I was an adventurer, and I worked hard.

But at the end of the day, I dismissed all these things as unimportant.  They were only what I was doing to heal myself until I moved to upstate New York to become a Wilkinson. I could not let go of that image, or there would be nothing to hold onto, I would just be floating in emptiness.

THE IMAGE BEGINS TO CRUMBLE

In 2010, after a broken engagement to a real woodsman in Arizona, where we had a garden, a big dog and national forest as our backyard, my image began to crumble. This was very scary. After trying for two years to create my image, I left Arizona, defeated, and moved back to New York. I faced my biggest fear, because I felt there was nothing holding me to anything. The program had failed. For awhile I sat in nothingness, floating with no purpose. It was tough, but also liberating. For the first time I had no real agenda for anything, so I just let the Divine take care of me. I worked on my music and my healing practice and just took it one day at a time.

Naturally, when I let go of the image and the control, the life I was supposed to have come rushing towards me. Literally hundreds of artists, musicians and healers entered my life without effort. I formed deep friendships. I just went with it and began to have more fun than I could ever have imagined. My relationship with my parents also began to heal naturally, at a level I never expected.

But then after several months of singing, dancing and making art with the best people in the world, the winter wind began to blow, and the image of the woodstove came back with a vengeance. It was time to move upstate and do it for real. I was determined and began the motions of finally claiming the life I had been dreaming of all these years. 

In January of 2012, I was in Woodstock, NY, looking at the perfect cabin with one of my best friends.  I thought that my husband would walk through the door at any second. But then it began to feel kinda weird, like I was in the hologram deck on The Enterprise - set to Norman Rockwell. It wasn’t real, and it wasn’t me. The image began to dissolve and I started to freak out. I didn’t know what was going on, but I had to get out of there and get back home to Brooklyn with my community immediately. My friend intuitively knew what was happening to me, and we drove out of Woodstock like bats out of hell.

Since then, the remnants of this safety net have been continually dissolving as the real CC has been emerging. It’s been a little disorienting, but claiming myself as a musician, a mystic, an adventurer, and an artist has made me the happiest I have ever been. Letting go of the identity as someone who is just healing herself so she can have her family and farmhouse in the woods, to come into a fully embodied, musical goddess is way better than the fantasy, because it’s who I am naturally.

How grateful I am to have not only had the beauty that the Wilkinsons offered me as a teenager, but to have had that image keep me together while I healed, and while I traversed my human journey. Somehow, here in 2012, the slate was wiped clean, and I became strong enough to let the safety net go.

I would write in Heather’s yearbook now, “Because of you and your family, it was safe for me to find my true self.”

THE CATSKILLS, 2012

Of course, while all of this was happening, I got a touching email from Heather Wilkinson herself. After 20 years, I found myself driving up to the Catskills to come full circle.

When I arrived at the Wilkinsons in July of 2012, the solid rock I clung to was very much in tact. The garden I helped build as a teenager was thriving, the dogs were running and playing and the quilts on the beds just as charming.  After 50 years John and Mia are still best friends with their nightly cocktails, long conversations and mutual passion for nature.

They welcomed me back with open arms, inviting me to come to the house any time I wanted, with or without them. I felt their warmth and generosity like an old friend, and I was overwhelmed with their love and trust in me after all these years.

Heather and I had a lot to talk about. It was so good to see her and reconnect. It became obvious that her journey was more like mine than I had believed. She has moved countless times as an ER doctor, been in several relationships (she never married anyone who proposed), and in 2009 we both suffered a life altering back injury that took us out of type A mode to begin the journey of the integrated woman. She ended up taking 3 years off and is now emerging as an acupuncturist. In my back-injured bedridden days in Arizona, I learned to let life take care of me, to let the earth speak to me, and to trust I was provided for at all times.


THE BIG PICTURE

I am witnessing so many of my 30 something female friends going through a profound change. We just don’t have the testosterone to be type A workaholics. Somehow in our post feminist reality, we took on the idea that we should be able to pull this off. It is a pressure cooker.  It seems the overworked-woman’s-nervous-breakdown is par for the course.

What I like, and what I see us doing, is reclaiming the feminine in this deep, sultry, spacious way. Sinking deeply inside and feeling the universe in our hearts and our wombs is opening doorways to our passions without burning out. We are so beyond the subservient wife, but we are also beyond the overworked, constantly in charge career woman. The new, integrated woman is rising just in time for December 21, 2012.

I think many of us reach for an ideal that was imprinted on us somehow. But most of the time, that image isn’t realistic, it is simply a tool to help us find who we actually are. 

After almost 2 decades of art, healing and music, I have found a way to combine all of my passions and work part time, making more than enough money. I cannot overwork myself and expect any magic to happen. My delicious female friends are all going through this journey, some are also balancing children and husbands. Even though Heather and I come from very different family situations, she is also on this path.

We women need our time, our quiet and safe space for the magic to arise, so we can receive the gifts of the universe, and so we can hold a loving space for the world.

As the triple goddess we have our ferociousness, and we have so much strength and endurance, but the magic comes in the softness. I desire a world where it is safe to be as soft as we are, as fluid as the waters we are born in, and as deep as our hearts can go.

By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

In 2008 a group of lightworkers led by Drunvalo activated the Unity Grid on the south pacific island of Moorea. It was a simple ceremony, and we haven’t looked back since.

A few months later many of us checked in with each other. What seemed clear was that everyone felt more love in the world, felt it as a palpable force of support. Mission accomplished.

But a funny thing happened, and not really haha funny. Life started to operate, well, differently, and many of us had no idea what we were doing.  I remember thinking after we did that activation, that I would retire my lightworking wand and move to the country to quietly ascend and live the simple life. Little did I know this was just the beginning. The ascension path would bloom in full force, unrelenting, and every limiting mental construct that held me safe up to that point was to be demolished. Sound familiar?

I would loosely describe the path of ascension as the unshakable devotion, whether conscious or unconscious, to soul growth, and to the collective mission to raise the vibration of earth into something way better- dare I say “the shift,” dare I say the “fifth dimension.”

YOU ROCK 3D, YOU’RE EXHAUSTED, YOU’RE 5D SHIFTING, WTF

For those who have spent the last years living with the land, in a state of oneness with nature, this whole shift thing may seem like old news. Go back to your garden and inner peace, you don’t need to read this.

But there are many who’s life path, for better or for worse, is intimately intertwined both with civilization and insatiable spiritual growth.

You guys, we are really strong and totally crazy for volunteering for this.

So,“How do you let go and trust into the embrace of spirit while still paying the bills, being responsible to your children, or participating in society? I mean isn’t all that stuff anti-5D?”

We can’t all run out to the middle of nowhere to ascend (though I really tried, and may try again!)

We have literally been asked to completely rewire our brain, our DNA, our bodies. For a number of us, we have gotten to the other side enough to be reaping the joyful rewards. But there are still those that are hovering somewhere in between, understanding intellectually that all is provided, but not knowing how to break out of working too much for too little to maintain what they have created without going into bankruptcy, losing children and marriages, houses, etc.

These are legitimate concerns.  You have worked hard for what you have, probably too hard. The way things are set up now, many of you are barely making ends meet, even though you work one or two respectable jobs.

When I had reached exhaustion from my overachieving ways and began my “let go let god” training, my experience was falling on my face and losing everything before coming out the other side into abundant living. You can read about that here.

Now, being on the other side (enough), I am grateful for what I learned. And I am witnessing not just my students, but so many people going through their version of what I went through. For those of us that paved the way, lets just make it a little easier on those who are still hovering and freaking out.

I would like to premise this whole section by saying that in my humble opinion, I don’t see 5D as existing all on its own, that would be very one dimensional. We are multidimensional beings. So, 1- 4D and beyond is still there in some way. 5D living means developing more of ourselves, leaving what doesn’t work behind, and learning how to navigate life with a new set of rules.  Here we go.

1. YOU ARE NOT A HIPPIE

If you devoted the last 20-30 years to killin’ it in your career, it is highly unlikely you will take on all the values of a true hippie who doesn’t need many, if any material comforts. Hippies have already developed their right brain manifesting genius, but most have not addressed their left-brain (To read about left and right brain manifesting, click here.) You do not need to abandon your fabulous left-brain, or your monthly shopping sprees (I won’t tell.) But you do need to learn all about manifesting from the heart and right brain. Since you are an overachiever, I bet you will do this splendidly, if you haven’t already begun.

2. PASSING THROUGH 4D: GO TO THE LIGHT!

First you must pass through 4D to get to 5D. In 4D your beliefs will smack you in the face, good and bad. So work your beliefs. You will recognize this space if you have no idea what on earth is going on, if you feel caught in between worlds or if you are clinging on to the old paradigm like a broken piece of wood from your capsized boat.

You may feel like you have lost direction and purpose. Congratulations, you have. Your main job is to just go through this. You will not know anything until you get to 5D, and even then it will be a completely different way of experiencing your life purpose.

The number one survival skill in transitioning is to not focus on your external circumstances and to unabashedly align with your heart and your 5th dimensional divine self every day. Admit you don’t know how to solve your problems with your mind, and let divine intelligence come in and school you. Then you will be guided and shown much more gently what to do, step by step. You will know it’s not about tearing everything down, but gently listening to the love of spirit in your life.

The light at the shore will be blinding, follow that light.

3. FIRE YOURSELF

Do you feel like you have been doing life all alone?
Are you shouldering all the burden?
Do you need to be in charge of everything?

This is old-paradigm-lack-mentality. Fire yourself immediately.

I fired myself. It was the best thing I ever did. Because I realized I was so terribly bored with being in charge, and I wanted more. By firing myself I put Source in charge. This is a good move, because if you have done your work, your new boss is amazing and is all about team work.

Fifth dimensional living is not without structure. There is deep structure, and there is deep flow. It is not a free for all because it takes great surrender and great focus. As you plant intentions, the divine fifth dimensional structure unabashedly assists in holding them with you, so you are not muscling this alone. You are NEVER working alone as you may have felt you have been all this time.

Working as a divinely inspired collective is essential to this new way of living. As soul family naturally links together, projects and dreams begin to create themselves by the collective intention of the group, and each individual showing up with their gift. That collective intention is built over time through loving and respecting one another.

This is where some of the biggest rewiring happens. It’s just so shocking when a community of people spontaneously rises up to help you. Can they actually do a better job than if you were doing it alone, or without you being in charge? The answer is yes, yes they can. You will need to continually let go of your personal agenda as some sort of tried and true saving grace. Learn to work with Source energy, with others and enjoy.

4. MAKE EARNING MONEY FUN

You know how to do it. Now make it the most pleasurable experience of your life.

Earning money seems like a chore to so many. It’s not, it’s the best.

Love + Money = SELF CARE.

Love is the bridge between spirit and matter. Do the math. (READ ABOUT IT HERE.)

If you are not earning enough to feel like you are in abundance, find where you are in lack and love yourself there. If you are in a career that destroys you, but you are earning a lot of money, , find where you are in lack and love yourself there.

In the new world, the right and left-brains are illuminated by the pineal energy, making it easier to bridge duality, and making it much more fun. Sink into your pineal gland and ask that it heal the split between spirit and matter, love and money, let it travel to all your chakras and fill you with divine love. Yes!

Deal with your debt

I hear a lot of people say, with hopeful excitement, “I’m not going to deal with my debts because there isn’t going to be any money in a few months….” I think this is a mistake, and not just because I’ve been hearing it for several years, but because we really don’t know what is going to happen.  If you created debt, it’s on you and your feelings of avoidance, lack and low self worth.  There’s nothing that irks me more than when someone uses spiritual ideals to avoid developing material integrity…and then asks me for money.

It is essential to heal this part of humanity individually and collectively. This area of lack in our systems wants to be filled with love….and money. I’m a broken record because I really mean it and because I personally like being filled up with love and money.

Why is it so important?

The practical energy of money management, budgeting and planning is the same vibration and skill as planning and managing a permaculture farm.

We need integrity, accountability and responsibility more than ever if we are going to co-create! With money, you plan according to business cycles. With gardens, you plan according to the seasons and the land. So my dear overachievers, I cannot say whether money will make it to the next stage, but once again, your grounded, left-brains skills are very needed.

If you haven’t yet, deal with your debt. Build that first, second and third chakra energy, and let the heart and spiritual energies infuse with it. Take responsibility for your actions and you will build confidence, strength and power. We need everyone to be empowered. Love and forgive yourself (and the system) through the process. Your new heart centered manifesting skills will also come in handy as large chunks of cash and great opportunities magically appear.

5. DO WHAT YOU LOVE

I couldn’t leave this one out, and it never hurts to hear it again, right? But don’t think you have to quit your job, change your entire life or earn your living doing what you love right away or ever. Just do what you love and don’t kill yourself. Make it as easy and pleasurable as possible. No pressure, it doesn’t have to be dramatic.

If you feel ready to quit your job, then do it, if not, don’t do it. Just enjoy life as much as possible, and know that the more you cultivate the ability to enjoy yourself and feel taken care of by life, the more you will be enjoyably taken care of by life.

Here’s the tricky part, I have seen so many decide to quit their livelihood thinking spirit would take care of them with the same income level to which they were accustomed. This would be part of the hazing, or creative process, depending on how you look at it. Living in the new paradigm takes a little practice and skill, the same way you developed yourself in the old paradigm. Make it easy on yourself. Do it in steps if possible, allowing your right-brained manifesting skills to integrate with your left-brain ones. You will get to the promise land no matter what, there’s no shame in having a little cushion!

Disclaimer: If you go to the top of a mountain, and get a full throttle download to quit your job and move to Ecuador, listen to the download and not to me.

6. LOVE LOVE LOVE

Commit yourself to love. Love yourself, love others through perceived faults, stop blaming, love yourself out of victim mode, do the love thing full on. Develop a relationship with love and Source so strong you can’t ever get rid of it. It will change everything.

Key Benefit: You will have a lot more friends and soul family will find you.

7. GOD IS ALIVE, MAGIC IS AFOOT

The Magic returns. The magic is based on this deep love between you and Creator. All of life loves you and begins to work with you and through you. Events begin to be set up that are far better than what you had imagined.

The magic begins at that point where you give up trying to figure it out and instead say “I don’t know! Spirit, will you come help me? I love you so much, thank you.”  You begin to feel that you are in total partnership with life, that your needs are met in the most pleasant ways, that your projects are divinely guided and supported with love. Your new purpose begins to kick in. You are now in the fifth dimensional Unity Grid and it’s good my friends, very good.

My fellow overachievers, I feel your pain and confusion. On the other side of these riddles is a world where we are able to create and receive harmoniously, without stress, with the people we love the most. It’s better than anything you’ve experienced so far, and it’s worth it, so keep going!

(c) CC Treadway 2012. All rights reserved. You may publish entire article with link back to this site. Thank you.