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Transformation, Spirituality & Healing

In Conclusion...There Is No Conclusion

5/6/2013

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Never before have I loved and hated life so much. HA! Let’s just be honest. The conscious path is one of true paradox. It doesn’t really make life easier. The conscious path is like any other obsession. It wakes you up in the morning, and keeps you from going to bed at night. The endless self-discovery and need to solve all the mysteries of life is a daunting task, but you feel me. I don’t think I need to go into the planetary activity going on. Don’t get me started on the solar flares.

But we press on in this endless transition we call “the Shift.”

The path of awakening can lead you to the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and if we are lucky, we get to be in the middle a good part of the time. I wouldn’t trade it, would you? Every time I say I’m going to take it easy, the mystery does another layer of unfolding, and the obsession reawakens, and THEN yes, then I know I have figured it out.  And every time, those five minutes are the best five minutes of my life.

It’s like those moments on stage after you have been working on something for weeks, months or even years. Then you are granted this small window of time where it all lines up: your mission, your soul, your heart, your body, your passion, your relationships, your gift. In one moment, they are all together, fully expressed, fully understanding this whole incarnation thing in the eternal now.

These are great moments.

I had one of these moments last Friday night at a warehouse party in Brooklyn, NY. After obsessing all day with nerves, I arrived on stage with my two priestesses, Lauren “DJ Chela” Harkrader and Malia Kulp, to sing, drum, and channel for the young and eager indigo partiers.

This particular night of performing and channeling may have been the easiest, most joyful experience of my life.  In the seedy up and coming neighborhood of Bushwick we brought the light, the love, the angels, the Hathors and the song. I was convinced that every bit of personal work and spiritual evolution I had gone through had led up to that very moment. Ah ha!! That moment was the reason for my very existence. Victory!

Giddy and high from the experience, we took to the streets so that Lauren’s boyfriend Pedro could photograph us:  The Witches of Bushwick.

Some of my favorite DJ’s were on that night, but the brujas were feeling very sensitive and we could not stay at the party. So, we took our crystals, orgone dodecahedrons and sage, and left, leaving the all night dancing to the second wave indigo babies.

I was so exhausted and loopy I didn’t do any of the things I would normally do after a channeling, like seal up my field, stretch, shower, eat or snuggle. And I didn’t really sleep with all that energy running through me. I woke up still high from the channeling and headed to a recording session with magical piano genius, Adam Ahuja. Lost in the river of the song, I thought to myself, “THIS is the moment, THIS one!”  He recorded five takes to add to one of my original tracks, leaving me overwhelmed with gratitude and inspiration. The cup was overflowing.

Ah, the sound engineer rolled his fourth joint and I began to look around. It was a little cloudy in there, not to mention the empty extra large glass bottles of Jack scattered amongst hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment. I thought to myself,

“Here I am wide open, exhausted, practically glowing in the dark…surrounded by pot and alcohol goobers, haven’t I written article about not doing this kind of thing? I’m sure I look like the best meal they’ve ever seen, but no worries, I’m a pro. I’m no longer susceptible to this stuff, now that I have such good boundaries. It’s just plants and grains. After all, I’m on the conscious path.”

By the time I got home I could barely stand up, and went into the heavy, hung over kind of sleep that frankly I’ve only experienced on painkillers. I was way too tired to de-goober, so I just went to bed, figuring that the little monkeys could enjoy my company for a night before I sent them to Creator in the morning.

I woke up and was definitely NOT having one of those fully lucid moments of enlightenment. Oy, as we say in Brooklyn. With so much expansion and no conscious integration, my emotional body snapped. Whaaaaa! I cried it out with one of my besties, naming every unsolvable problem I could think of, and then went to the park and lay down on the Earth, my daily practice. Wouldn’t you know it, in just a few minutes I was able to release all goobers to Creator, release all yucky energy to the Earth and rebalance my field. I stayed out there for several hours in bliss. Good as new, I saw some clients and watched Game of Thrones.

And that was my weekend on the conscious path. How was yours?

In conclusion, there is no conclusion. I didn’t even know what I was going to write about when I started this, so here we are. Let’s all just keep going, let’s keep doing this thing and writing articles that go nowhere. It’s totally amazing, and totally awful. Congratulations for making it to this moment, I’m sure it wasn’t easy. I love you.

(c) CC Treadway 2013, All rights reserved


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THE FAMILY HOLOGRAM

7/18/2012

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By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

As we collectively enter into the feminine, I am struck by my own experience that has led me to understand, and understand deeply, what this means.

Recently, after arguably one of the hottest weeks in NYC, I drove up to the Catskills to stay with an old friend and her family. I had not seen this friend in almost twenty years, but she and her family are more significant in my life than I could possibly convey in words.  This family, the Wilkinsons, made me a part of their family when my own family life had fallen apart.

I met Heather when I was 12 at an Episcopal church inter-county sleepover. I recognized her as a fellow gymnast immediately by the way she walked, so of course we had to be friends.

In those early years, I would go over to the Wilkinson’s house in Pelham, New York, and be greeted by two enormous dogs, a cat, her brother, and her parents, who would promptly put me to work. This work included walking the dogs, taking out the garbage, walking to the grocery store in the dead of winter, setting the table, etc.

The Wilkinsons lived in a grand old Victorian, 4 stories high with 8 bedrooms. The house was heated only by woodstoves. Heather’s father, John, preferred woodstove heat, and was uncompromising in this preference, no matter how cold it was. Hats and gloves were frequently worn if necessary. John, a hotshot lawyer in NYC, had a lot of hobbies: fly fishing, camping, skiing, really anything that had to do with nature. He and his wife Mia, a pro-gardener and teacher, held fast to old values that were all but disappearing.  Pre-boomers from New England don’t mess around.  Their work ethic and consistency is a force to be reckoned with. I got it, I loved it, and I paid close attention.

To me, each time I entered the Wilkinson’s house was like going to paradise. My own house, just a few towns away, was going through a lot at that time.  My parents did not get along and were beginning what would become the longest divorce process known to man.  At the Wilkinson’s I was part of a functioning team that had a purpose.  I gladly participated.

I’m imagining they understood exactly the role they played for me. I was Heather’s favorite friend, and so I was informally adopted.  My parents, always up for an adventure, were thrilled that I was being treated so well and shown so many new things.

The Wilkinsons took me on all their family vacations. We went horse back riding in Jackson, Wyoming, camping and fishing in upstate New York, swimming in Delray Beach, FL, and skiing in Okemo,VT. Every year they took me to their college reunions in Williamstown, MA, and they even took me along to visit with their best friends in New Hampshire. As a family, we would watch the Olympics together, getting into every nuance of the gymnasts, dissecting the ice skaters, and passionately cheering on the skiers. They brought me along everywhere as one of their daughters, and delighted in my personality and my quirks. No one ever yelled at each other and “flaws” were seen as something to chuckle about.

Eventually they bought a second home in the Catskills with even more woodstoves, skiing, dogs and sitting around the fire with drinks, all getting along. I went up there as often as possible.

THE FANTASY FAMILY IMAGE

Throughout these 6 years from age 12 until I graduated from High School at 18, I was shown a way of life that held and supported me through tough times. My parents finally divorced when I was 18, and in my head, the Wilkinsons were the model I used for the family life I was determined to have as an adult. I thought that I had kept my admiration for them to myself, but in this most recent trip to the Catskills, Heather told me I wrote, “Because of you and your family, I now know what family actually is,” in her senior yearbook.

After high school, Heather went to Williams college and I went to the Rhode Island School of Design. Heather became a doctor. I became a filmmaker, dancer and healer of sorts who dated the wrong guys. Heather got proposal after proposal from stable men. We fell out of touch.

I remember feeling in my 20’s like I just wasn’t good enough to hang out with the Wilkinsons anymore. I didn’t want to bring my darkness into their light. I felt ashamed that I was so all over the place, that once again the last guy I dated blew me off after he slept with me, that the guy I was seeing now had 2 other girlfriends, and I had 3 other boyfriends outside of him just to be safe. I truly didn’t feel I deserved any better, and I couldn’t bear to feel my own deeper needs.

All the while the myth of my ideal family life I was going to have remained strong in my head. I could see the house in the Catskills, the garden, and the functioning family unit as we did lots of outdoorsy activities.

As I danced, worked at MTV, went to healing school, dated countless men and moved countless times, I knew that someday I would have that stable life. I held onto it like the rock of Gibraltar. My feelings of shame and sadness around my inner broken home were still so strong. So, the contrast between how I actually felt and my fantasy family image was a tough gap to bridge. All the while I was dreaming up this perfect movie, I developed myself as a person, dedicating myself to my spiritual path. I became a successful video editor and later a self-employed healer.  I began helping a lot of people, writing music, and traveling. I was an adventurer, and I worked hard.

But at the end of the day, I dismissed all these things as unimportant.  They were only what I was doing to heal myself until I moved to upstate New York to become a Wilkinson. I could not let go of that image, or there would be nothing to hold onto, I would just be floating in emptiness.

THE IMAGE BEGINS TO CRUMBLE

In 2010, after a broken engagement to a real woodsman in Arizona, where we had a garden, a big dog and national forest as our backyard, my image began to crumble. This was very scary. After trying for two years to create my image, I left Arizona, defeated, and moved back to New York. I faced my biggest fear, because I felt there was nothing holding me to anything. The program had failed. For awhile I sat in nothingness, floating with no purpose. It was tough, but also liberating. For the first time I had no real agenda for anything, so I just let the Divine take care of me. I worked on my music and my healing practice and just took it one day at a time.

Naturally, when I let go of the image and the control, the life I was supposed to have come rushing towards me. Literally hundreds of artists, musicians and healers entered my life without effort. I formed deep friendships. I just went with it and began to have more fun than I could ever have imagined. My relationship with my parents also began to heal naturally, at a level I never expected.

But then after several months of singing, dancing and making art with the best people in the world, the winter wind began to blow, and the image of the woodstove came back with a vengeance. It was time to move upstate and do it for real. I was determined and began the motions of finally claiming the life I had been dreaming of all these years. 

In January of 2012, I was in Woodstock, NY, looking at the perfect cabin with one of my best friends.  I thought that my husband would walk through the door at any second. But then it began to feel kinda weird, like I was in the hologram deck on The Enterprise - set to Norman Rockwell. It wasn’t real, and it wasn’t me. The image began to dissolve and I started to freak out. I didn’t know what was going on, but I had to get out of there and get back home to Brooklyn with my community immediately. My friend intuitively knew what was happening to me, and we drove out of Woodstock like bats out of hell.

Since then, the remnants of this safety net have been continually dissolving as the real CC has been emerging. It’s been a little disorienting, but claiming myself as a musician, a mystic, an adventurer, and an artist has made me the happiest I have ever been. Letting go of the identity as someone who is just healing herself so she can have her family and farmhouse in the woods, to come into a fully embodied, musical goddess is way better than the fantasy, because it’s who I am naturally.

How grateful I am to have not only had the beauty that the Wilkinsons offered me as a teenager, but to have had that image keep me together while I healed, and while I traversed my human journey. Somehow, here in 2012, the slate was wiped clean, and I became strong enough to let the safety net go.

I would write in Heather’s yearbook now, “Because of you and your family, it was safe for me to find my true self.”

THE CATSKILLS, 2012

Of course, while all of this was happening, I got a touching email from Heather Wilkinson herself. After 20 years, I found myself driving up to the Catskills to come full circle.

When I arrived at the Wilkinsons in July of 2012, the solid rock I clung to was very much in tact. The garden I helped build as a teenager was thriving, the dogs were running and playing and the quilts on the beds just as charming.  After 50 years John and Mia are still best friends with their nightly cocktails, long conversations and mutual passion for nature.

They welcomed me back with open arms, inviting me to come to the house any time I wanted, with or without them. I felt their warmth and generosity like an old friend, and I was overwhelmed with their love and trust in me after all these years.

Heather and I had a lot to talk about. It was so good to see her and reconnect. It became obvious that her journey was more like mine than I had believed. She has moved countless times as an ER doctor, been in several relationships (she never married anyone who proposed), and in 2009 we both suffered a life altering back injury that took us out of type A mode to begin the journey of the integrated woman. She ended up taking 3 years off and is now emerging as an acupuncturist. In my back-injured bedridden days in Arizona, I learned to let life take care of me, to let the earth speak to me, and to trust I was provided for at all times.


THE BIG PICTURE

I am witnessing so many of my 30 something female friends going through a profound change. We just don’t have the testosterone to be type A workaholics. Somehow in our post feminist reality, we took on the idea that we should be able to pull this off. It is a pressure cooker.  It seems the overworked-woman’s-nervous-breakdown is par for the course.

What I like, and what I see us doing, is reclaiming the feminine in this deep, sultry, spacious way. Sinking deeply inside and feeling the universe in our hearts and our wombs is opening doorways to our passions without burning out. We are so beyond the subservient wife, but we are also beyond the overworked, constantly in charge career woman. The new, integrated woman is rising just in time for December 21, 2012.

I think many of us reach for an ideal that was imprinted on us somehow. But most of the time, that image isn’t realistic, it is simply a tool to help us find who we actually are. 

After almost 2 decades of art, healing and music, I have found a way to combine all of my passions and work part time, making more than enough money. I cannot overwork myself and expect any magic to happen. My delicious female friends are all going through this journey, some are also balancing children and husbands. Even though Heather and I come from very different family situations, she is also on this path.

We women need our time, our quiet and safe space for the magic to arise, so we can receive the gifts of the universe, and so we can hold a loving space for the world.

As the triple goddess we have our ferociousness, and we have so much strength and endurance, but the magic comes in the softness. I desire a world where it is safe to be as soft as we are, as fluid as the waters we are born in, and as deep as our hearts can go.

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THE SHIFT FROM I TO WE

5/13/2011

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THE SHIFT FROM I TO WE: Good News in Cathartic Times
 By CC Treadway

Something amazing is happening. The second wave Indigos are taking over. They are not angry, they are not screaming, they are not rebelling. No, no, they are loving the crap out of you. These young ones are coming of age around the world. My friends, the legends are all true, they will heal our planet with their love.

The average age of these innovators? 26. At 36, I feel like the old timer, but I also feel proud because the tracks we laid are being well used and maintained.

I returned to New York on January 1, 2011.  I returned to a different city, maybe a different world.  See, out in the boonies of rural Arizona, with no TV and everyone disconnected from the mainstream, it was hard to gauge where the pulse of the world was. But in a major metropolitan city, we are shown every day what other cultures are doing, current events are constantly discussed and we are part of the great antenna that broadcasts to the world. 

One could say that I have changed, which would be true, but everyone else has too.  Life has become a constant collaboration, partly out of need because the economic climate is so different, but also because it seems so pointless now to do everything yourself. 

I see that people have changed not only in the spiritual community but in the community at large, which is great because lets face it, the spiritual community is a minority. We are the unsung heroes, meditating and lightworking our butts off in the background.

The biggest tip off that things have changed? My Wall Street-Monsanto-loving-Dad asked me for natural remedies then actually used them. He was rubbing essential oil of Cajeput on his chest and spraying Bee Pollen in his mouth as if he had just discovered a pot of gold. It’s totally weird and totally awesome.

THIS IS WHAT I AM SEEING: 


GREEN

Trees planted everywhere, community gardens, and farmer’s markets galore.

The Empire State Building is using renewable energy.  Representatives of the wealth building landmark said in a press conference, “We are not doing this as some kind of charity project for the right thing, we are doing it because it was the best financial decision for the service.” Ya gotta love the suits. But ya also gotta love the tree huggers who developed a superior product at a bargain. Can you see how powerful that is? By not separating out of the game, but engaging fiercely, the centerpiece of the capitalistic world is using renewable energy, and no one had to die for the change.

FLOWER= POWER

These flower power heart centered hippies are not afraid to set goals and go after them.  I’ve never met spiritual people more grounded and focused on building a solid intention, container and plan for their vision….together. They develop their crafts like any other master, do their emotional work and aren’t afraid to keep it real. They pour their hearts into their projects and care more than everyone else.

As a Gen-Xer, I had to search through the “whatevers” and the “it’s all goods” to find the courage to show how much I cared. But these cats? They are in-your-face with all the caring. They go to the jungle, sit with the medicine and welcome the transformation. And I am gonna stop saying
they, because We are in the same tribe. I’ve been waiting a long time for the world to catch up with my heart. I don’t say that in arrogance, because I know I’m not alone, but this is what all of the work has been for; so we could come together to be this great shift that is Now. 

CREATIVITY

The creative energy cannot be contained here. Art, music, writing, business, dance…all of it, together! Community work spaces have developed. These places are more like work and creative clubs, where people pay a membership fee and get access to art classes, office space and coffee.

There are gatherings after gatherings of people coming together to make stuff! Painting together, eating together, meditating together, singing together, visioning and loving the earth together. 

For me, what is so interesting about a city, is the breakdancing backdrop of this movement: the buildings, the projects, the noises, the suits, the trains, the arts, the history, the stress, the pressure - the contrast. I love the contrast. And I love how We rest in the middle of that contrast, holding it all, judging none of it, being all of it. 

There is no choosing a side, there is no “the government is doing this to us.” It’s an empowered stance of inclusion that says, “We are the system, and this is how We do it.”

In the land of We, there is no them, because we are all reflections, expressions of the One Spirit. We are two sides of the same coin. Do we really believe this? We do. 

THE DIVINE FEMININE

I am seeing The Triple Goddess on fire. I am seeing women unafraid of their power, not holding back so that the insecure man can shine at their expense. Oh no, these women are talented, multifaceted, smart, confident, loving and opening to creating with other women and other men. Busting out. Not just in a Divine Feminine gathering, but out in the world. 

Women are coming into the world with their ideas and innovation,
and claiming their right to family and relationship. There is no one without the other. The Divine Feminine and Masculine are not separate experiences, they’re an integrated experience with nothing to prove. The tracks have been laid and we are all cruising. 

Women are no longer hiding in the shadows, storehouses of Earth’s magic kept under wraps, nor are we fighting for our freedom. We have it.
(I understand that I am in the United States where this is possible, but now that it is here, I know it will be possible in places where women do not yet have their freedom.) 


We are coming together and singing each other’s praises, loving loudly, and the men are right next to us. The young ones did not grow up with too much sexism, and their vibration is strong. So strong it shifts people just by walking into a room. Does this sound like utopia? It kinda feels like it. Don’t wake me up.

THE DIVINE MASCULINE

The other day, my dear friend here in New York had a meltdown on the street. We were leaving a gathering and a lot of energy had moved through the event. I was holding her while she cried on the street, and when I looked up, what was surrounding us? Two young Indigo men holding space for her, deeply in their hearts. They were sending my friend healing energy in her moment, completely grounded, real and present. They didn’t stop until she was done.  Holy shit!

I am seeing The Divine Masculine waking up. It is spectacular.  And not just because of their apology videos (which I appreciate), but because they are standing in their power and creating a better world with us. They are laying the bricks of change proactively and not just bitchin’ about the corrupt system, or rebelling with inaction. No, they are conquering new landscapes of love by becoming greater masters of energy, talent and intelligence with the women right next to them. 

I see them beginning to watch their sexual energy and let it flow wisely into the world, and into the woman. They are beginning to lead with their hearts, and when they look into the eyes of the Feminine, they are actually seeing and respecting her. And I am fanning my face now, breathe, because I have to say, I support these men, I appreciate these men, these men ignite me like lightening in the void. 

The heart is not feminine, every human has one.  Love is our birthright and we all can share in this blissful state of living in the heart. 

RELATIONSHIP

I see relationships in flux in the conscious community. Partners are boldly working through eons of codependent dynamics, walking into the cauldron together and hoping for the best sometimes. We haven’t fully crossed the threshold into the new place with it, and I think it is the hardest work of our times. I’m getting a little break right now, but am in deep gratitude for those couples who are transmuting this energy for the planet. 

In some ways this is the last frontier for spiritual people: family and home. To create a home environment that is healthy and happy for our children to grow is the most important and sacred job we all have, and yet it is the most difficult.  It hits our core, it hits everything vulnerable about us. Spiritual people like to feel invincible, like superheroes. Relationship makes us oh so human, again and again. The brave ones are not backing down, they are committing deeper, letting their love burn through the fire of their resistance, finding their power in the sacred container of relationship. 

I still see men resisting standing in the fire of love, perpetually finding themselves and claiming to save the world while they can’t stand by a woman, but I also see that changing. I still see women blaming men for all the wrongs in their lives and in the world, and I also see that changing.

So, let me cheer you on conscious couples and families who are braving the storm. Your love is the backbone of the New World.  I see a profound shift in our future as the results of this deep, transformative work lead us to something we cant quite see yet. 

And I will also cheer on the single people who are learning to love themselves and be themselves more fully, and hope to inspire you to brave the storm of relationship when it comes your way.

CONCLUSION

I hope, in the midst of the uncertainty, pain and confusion in the world at this time, that this has helped you. We are moving from I to We, recognizing the beautiful souls around us who are like minded and hearted.  Whatever city or town you live in, there are young ones coming of age, ready to love you.

LOVE, CC




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New York: Ambition Orgasm

1/15/2011

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NEW YORK: AMBITION ORGASM
by CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com

Like most New Yorkers, I love New York, even when I hate it. If you have creativity and ambition, big ambition, then you will find it hard to leave. This creativity could be art, healing, entertainment, law, finance, whatever. All that matters is that you are very, very ambitious about it. You have to want to excel at what you do. If you are not ambitious, you will find New York City utterly unacceptable. New York chooses you as much as you choose her. If she chooses you and you leave, she will find a reason to lure you back.  She loves her babies, and if you commit to her rules, you will be rewarded nicely.

I have lived a lot of places. I have loved them all, but New York is my home, and I love her most of all. I was born here, raised here, and I feel more alive here than anywhere else on earth.  But what is so special about New York that 9 million people decide to cram in and give it a go?

PARK AVENUE POWER

Recently, when I was still living in Sedona, AZ (the polar opposite of New York and everything she stands for), I came to visit and work in NYC. I was overwhelmed by how amazing the healing work was, the commitment of the clients, the willingness to go into the primordial mud and transform. After a particularly rewarding work day, I strolled on down Park Avenue to take it all in. Opening wide to my experience, I felt this overwhelming surge of energy rip through me. I couldn’t help it, I began to cry, weep actually, in the middle of 25th Street and Park Avenue. It was so strong, so familiar and it pierced my soul. Luckily, no one bothers you in NY if you do weird things.

I was standing in the middle of the concrete jungle I tried so hard to get away from for a better life, so why was my soul being lit on fire? This had to be wrong! Cities were disconnected from Nature and I had claimed my natural life in Sedona!  Nevertheless, I had to lean up against a building and be with this stabbing longing.

A few months later, back in Sedona, my fiancée and I broke up. While mutual, I was devastated, shocked and disoriented. I packed up my life in Sedona and drove to California to stay at a friend’s. I needed to make some quick money and did not feel like doing healing work. After one email to an old boss, I was on a plane to begin work in New York City at a post-production company. Upon arriving, I was welcomed back on every level by my community, my old professional life, a sweet, affordable place to live with one of my best friends, and more hugs than I knew what to do with.  Things that should have taken months to work out happened in a blink of an eye. Lady Liberty was making it very easy for me to be home.

AMBITION ORGASM

On my way to a meditation one day, I found myself on Park Avenue in that same spot. The rush started to take me over again. I looked north to the Met Life building, which stands on top of the historic Grand Central Station at 42nd Street. It felt like an energy river was running through me. I had to know what was happening. So I turned on my third eye vision. What I saw was amazing. Streaming down Park Avenue was a current of ideas, creativity, drive, excitement, music, concepts and everything else you could think of. I was having an ambition orgasm. I could feel the current traveling through all the train lines that feed into Grand Central Station, carrying with them the hopes and dreams that light this city up, and then spread out into the world.

As I turned my focus upwards I saw huge beings, the guardians of New York City. Oh my GOD, they were amazing. They were huge, powerful, sky scraping giants that monitor and protect this current. They acknowledged me with a nod as I stood there with my mouth open. Their energy was of pure power, integrity and vision. They were not all about the love-dovey, but they weren’t cold. Just taking what they did very seriously, like a lot of New Yorkers.

I stood there absorbing it for a long time. Deep appreciation for their work welled up inside me. After living in an ambition deprivation tank for two years, I was floored at how Mother Earth and these beings were working together to support us, and to control this wild, powerhouse of an energy stream. The energy is all Mother Earth’s, we just naively step into it and give it our best shot. The guardians were called in to help us so we don’t all go insane, thankfully. It’s a good system, although many still are crazy.

Standing on that road, I feel like I am connected to humanity around the world. I feel like my ideas are received, and then transmitted, I feel important. Living out in the boonies I felt invisible, and tried to convince myself that I didn’t need recognition. But here, on Park and 25th, I know I am a part of the great civilization we have created today: for better or for worse. I know that I need to be here to gracefully bring my gifts to the world. Make no mistake, what we have created on this planet, no matter how separate from Nature we have gotten, is a gift from God.  We are all perfect creations, made from Love.

YES

I could feel the neutrality in this current and it helped me see I was done with the separatist attitude of making civilization wrong and making everything close to nature right. That was exhausting, and it was the governing energy for me in Sedona. I wanted both. I wanted civilization, art, music, words, ideas, finance, growth and I want a garden and eco-friendly everything. YES. I want to barter and make tons of money. YES. I want to sit and listen to the trees for hours, and then work till I drop. YES. In this current of energy, YES was everywhere, booming through my desires.

This was before the meditation on the New Moon solar eclipse on January 4th, 2011. Needless to say the meditation was off the charts. Later, I had a conversation with a beautiful indigo starchild, Filip Klein, and I was sharing with him my experiences on Park Avenue. He let me finish and then said, “So, get ready, the shaman I study with told me that the major ley line that runs through New York comes from upstate, then flows down into Grand Central, down Park Avenue to Wall Street, one of the largest energy vortexes in the world. That vortex is like a huge antenna that broadcasts to the world.” How’s that for confirmation?

I HEART NY

I don’t like to think of myself as having a boss, or as anyone else being in charge of me, but I knew why Lady Liberty beckoned me back. I was ready for bigger things and she wanted to help me, and loves it when I help her. It’s not because I am a chosen one and I need to be here to save her, we are ALL gifts. It’s because I am so fired up by what I do that I need the help of the greatest guardians, and some of the most powerful energy of the world, and she supports that.  I couldn’t do it by myself.

I am a New York baby, I am committed to this place, and I care about her deeply. And now that I have lived in Nature for two years, deeply in love with both a partner and the desert, my relationship to the bedrock here has evolved, softened, and matured. While I may be traveling, dare I say, even moving again, she is here for me now, exactly when I needed her most, as she has always been. And so I honor her, bow to her, serve her and thank her for this support.

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