In the last week I went through a profound passageway of detaching from the old paradigm and clicking into the new, on all levels.
It’s too much to write about, but I will share this one, life changing evening.
On Sunday night, a week ago, I went outside and sat on my stairs and took in the darkness. I felt, that even though I was finally living where I had always wanted to live, and all that that comes with, that the cost was too high. My insides felt completely split between the life I had left, with the kids and the man and the ocean, and the life I was in now - the solitude, the winter, the woods, but the KNOWING I was in the right place. Nevertheless, my mind and heart could not wrap my head around the sometimes traumatic events of the last 6 months, and where that left me.
So I took some tobacco, puffed it to the sky and from the depths of my heart asked Creator,
“What the actual fuck?”
The silence in the air was exquisite, the darkness like the void, the potential for the creative force filled my cells.
At that moment, I saw a bobcat scurrying across my neighbors lawn, while an owl started hooting loudly in the distance. Then I heard strange, undistinguishable sounds in the woods to my right! I got a little scared, but stayed still, and my senses heightened - and everything became twice as loud. The river that runs through town sounded like it was right in front of me. It was incredible. I could hear everything like it was all happening inside my brain. The once empty, silent and dark space was filled with life!
"I'M BECOMING AN ANIMAL,” I thought, and I liked it.
Knowing that spirit was answering my prayers, I went deeper into meditation to connect with my guides. They took me into my inner mystery and gave me the play by play so I could see how my fears and woundings had unconsciously orchestrated the entire series of painful events to learn the very profound lessons I was learning right now. A huge remorse welled up as I cried out my regret, but accepted that all was as it should be. My eloquent prayer had been answered. The half of me that was still in my old life understood, and finally joined me in my front yard.
But that was just the preparation. Spirit came in loud and clear to me and said,
“The way you have been going about getting your needs met is all wrong. You keep thinking you have to pick all the right things, and people, and do the right work, and the right class, the right partner, and construct your week correctly, etc. All of that is important, but the truth is it is still coming from the place of feeling like you are missing something that you have to find, as if this piece of emotional intimacy is something you have to get outside of yourself.
It does not matter what you did or did not receive in your childhood, it does not matter what you do during your day, it does not matter how many times you comb over your life to find the holes. None of that matters, you are not dependent on any of that, period, nor is anyone. You are Creator. You are everything.
Feeling connected to life is EVERY HUMAN BEING’S BIRTHRIGHT. You are intimately connected to everything already. You do not have to heal. You just need to click back in to what is already yours.”
The message was clear and powerful, I snapped out of it immediately, and continued to listen.
“Within the earth lies a large root, like a generator. Each human being is connected to this large root of energy. If you disconnect from it you will lack energy, get sick and feel lost and alone. Many people are disconnected right now, it weakens the unified field of earth. Connect your root back in now.”
I saw in my inner vision an enormous root like generator of light, and intended that my own root drop down and connect into it. But it was not dropping my root all the way down into the center of the earth like I would usually do, it felt maybe 100 yards down, but of course it’s actually in multidimensional inner space.
It was like plugging into an electric socket of light, energy and love, a very different feeling from my usual grounding, but not unfamiliar, I have known this place, this place knows me, it knows everyone. When I plugged in, I kid you not, in an instant, the pain, confusion, sadness, etc., simply disappeared. I felt myself once again a loving expression of a curious Creator, in the web of earthly life, everything made from the One Source. The forest was a part of me, and I a part of it. Feeling alone was hilarious at that point, actually an impossible feeling to achieve from this state.
I had to look up the Bobcat totem the next day and sure enough, part of its medicine is to help feel the deep connection to life when one is in solitude.
I can’t go into all the details from the rest of the week, but the gist, as always, is this:
Connect in, we are Creators, ALL OF US. And we are at the time of evolution where mastering our Creatorship is our divine instruction. All we have is our state of being. We are building the vibration of the New World, and that is the most important thing to focus on. The negative forces will keep coming. It is our job to fortify the loving, divine way so that the field of divine living gets stronger and stronger. The New World will get stronger than the old. Not everyone is coming yet. That’s ok. Don’t feel guilty about your bubble, serve from your bubble with full intention, whatever that may be, so it may link up with the other bubbles and create a larger unified field.
In the age of Aquarius we are living in the creative hive mind, our thoughts are VERY important. Cultivate them, and bring them together in groups to create Heaven on Earth. Whatever evil you feel you are fighting, the first step is coming together in a group and focusing on the desired outcome. Get clear, get aligned, build the energy field, then take the inspired action. Spirit will line it up.
OK, have a great day.
I love you