After my first heartbreak when I was 21, I didn’t recover for almost 8 years. I knew something was up but I had no idea how to change things. I was frozen inside and I kept myself safe in a dating pattern where I knew I wouldn’t get too hurt, except that I chose people who would inevitably leave, or that I would inevitably leave. Each time, re-wounding myself. Does this sound familiar?
After we get hurt, whether from a breakup, or any shock/loss of some kind, we often will shut parts of ourselves down. We can shut down the vulnerable part, the strong parts, the sexual parts, the loving parts, the creative parts, etc. You get the idea.
It is here where we stay frozen, unable to accept what happened, then attracting the same pattern over and over again, trying to resolve it, trying to find and love our lost parts of ourselves. Again, this can happen after any kind of major shock/loss/betrayal.
This could manifest as:
I shut down my powerful spiritual side in relationship. Because I blamed these parts of myself for past hurts. Now, can you imagine someone as uber spiritual as me trying to minimize that part of me in relationship? That’s a kamikaze mission. A spirit this strong will rebel. And it is SHE who does every time I set that pattern up for myself, in hopes that maybe this time, I’ll stay for good.
Well, this last time, I decided to stay for good. When my ex told me, after a year, that he wasn’t so sure about this healing thing I was doing…..I had a wake up call. I was devastated at the realization that my full self could not be present in it, but I knew it was because I had been minimizing its importance, again.
The pain overwhelmed me. But I took that pain and I channeled it into my deepest, long held spiritual and creative dreams. I took all that intolerable but potent energy, cried all the way to New York and got a cabin in the woods in the creative, spiritual mecca of Woodstock, NY, where I had wanted to live for 20 years. Then I got to the business of fully incarnating into my badass multi-dimensional self. I finally let my Higher Selfie land inside my body for good. No apologies. No hiding. No holding back. No more compromising this essential part of me for love. I’ve been creating, painting, writing, wailing, singing, owning myself and putting myself out there like never before. Higher Selfie is home for good, she is clear on just about everything, and she is just getting started.
This is your most important point of transformation. When you are willing and able to feel those emotions fully in a healing container, they are the cry to all the lost parts of yourself! YOU come fully back in and with all that energy you have no choice but channel them into something creative, you are participating in the most powerful alchemical process that available. You are saying to the All That Is that you are READY. Ready to face life and all that it comes with, because your full self is brave and willing to be put to use, willing to accept the energy that spirit wants to give you. You are saying YES to your dreams you are saying YES to your mission, you are saying YES to your whole self.
The grieving process does not happen overnight of course. There are many check points where the pain feels so overwhelming that you just want to stop it all. And that is why it is EXTREMELY important that you get the love and support that you need, so that these sacred parts of yourself don't go into hiding and repeat the patterns, hardening your precious heart. You will be very, very tempted to do that, and being held in support will catch you and hold you in those moments.
This work is all the more crucial if your heart has hardened up and the patterns have set in. NOW is still the time to unwind them. It’s never too late.
I hope you will join us in this wild, wonderful, passionate, loving and restorative journey to Turn Your Broken Heart into Art. It’s my life’s work. It’s my most vulnerable, humble and hard earned creation that Higher Selfie, my spirit team and I want to share with you. If this course is over after you've clicked, shoot me an email to learn how to work with me privately.
My obsession with all things spiritual, healing and artistic began as a child. I have so much to say, sing and create! Enjoy reading.
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